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2 Bumps

Should I get paid for watching my neice and nephew ?

I have been a stay at home mom for almost 8 years now... My youngest is about to start kindergarten, and the plan was always for me to get a part time job or go back to school once they were both at school ( my husband makes good money, but i always thought it would be nice have my own spending money, or to go to school ( beautician )... But of course now I am worried about doing that... I dont want to be out of town everyday ( we live in a small town so either way I will have to work/school in another town) ...and I honestly feel like I am a stay at home mom / housekeeper - I love it... I love cleaning and cooking and doing little things with the kids, I love the idea of being around in case anyone needs me ... My grandparents are also in not so great shape and I do stuff for them on a daily basis.

So when my brother asked me about taking care of my 2 year old neice and soon to be born nephew towards the end of summer when my SIL goes to work ( she is somewhat a stay at home mom right now) ...

I told him I would like that ... I also told him i could go to their house during the day and do the cleaning ( something we talked about before because neither of them clean -_- ) ....

I have done this a few times before - I would watch my neice, clean their house and even have their supper ready ...

BUT the problem is the money... I sort of feel guilty for taking money from them ( and some other people in the family think it is wrong too - I guess everyone just think that if its family you do it for free) .. but the thing is they blow money on so much stuff so I know they could pay me like $100 / month ... for everything I would do I do not think that is alot ? I mean it would be 4-5 days a week, morning until evening ...

Is that alot to ask? is it wrong for family to get paid? If i am not the one doing it they will be bringing the kids between me and SIL's dad ( probably for free) , but they wouldnt get their house cleaned and I think it would be a hassle ( because if I am not going to keep them on a regular basis I will be looking for a job or soemthing ) ....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Dec. 26, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • No, it's wrong for family to take advantage by NOT paying!! If you are babysitting occasionally for someone to go to the doctor, have a hair appointment, or have a date night, why would family charge, but if you are babysitting regularly while they go to work and get paid for their time, you should be getting paid for your time. and, more than $100 a month. find out what the going rate is for childcare in your area, then cut it by a percentage to give them a deal. They are getting their children cared for by someone who loves them....how lucky is that?
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:17 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • Honestly, I would not work for family. I would be willing to fill in as babysitter if their kids are sick or something happens and they don't have child care on emergency notice, but that would be more like a favor.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:20 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • NOT wrong for them to pay you.
    why would you do that for free?

    I mean watching them for a couple hours here or there is one thing...but daily with cleaning and whatnot deserves to be paid.
    I'd probably ask for 50 a week at least- a SMOKING deal for them and you get something out of it
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:20 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • It is strictly a business proposition when it comes to a family looking for child care. In my opinion, it doesn't matter that you are family. Plus you would be giving up income if you did it for free. So that is a double loss to you. Now, cleaning their homeas well?! How much more could they hope for! Look up on care.com how much people charge/pay in your area for childcare and housekeeping.. You used to be able to look at the posts without registering. I don't know if that is the same now, but there is no fee and the info you can get is very useful. Then you could give them some sort of discount if you wanted, but do not do it for free! Personally I would want to get on with plans I had for myself once my children reached school age, but that's just me. Don't let someone take advantage of you. GL
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 10:21 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • $100 a month isn't paying you, it's taking advantage of you. I'd be charging. Absolutely.

    Have you and your hubby discussed your change of plans regarding schooling/job? While he's earning a good salary, things happen. Mine's been on and off disability because of health issues for the past three years. While we expect him to be working at a good paying job in the next two months, we've also learned the hard way that BOTH of us need to be earning. At one point he was making enough for me to stay home but I hated it, and neither my son nor my husband liked it either.

    Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I'd still pick up a skill just in case.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:28 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • You should receive pay if it is a regular job.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:28 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • No way would I watch kids regularly for free. There's nothing in my blood clause that says it's supposed to be that way. This is not the same thing as you watching them for a few hours every now and then while they go out for dinner. I'd charge more than $100 a week let alone that a month. Not everyone has relatives they can swindle.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 10:35 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • I suggest that you look up what a full time maid makes. Then look up what infant day care costs in your area. Give them the info and say no. No matter how it starts it will always turn out bad. They are looking for all the benefits and none of the responsibility.

    I would go absolutely no lower that $100.00 a WEEK.
    ! child under the age of 2 (here) is $180.00 a week. You can figure it out from their. If other family members think it should be for free, let them do it.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:08 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • The first thing you do is sit down with your husband and discuss your (both of you) future. You are at an important turning point in your life and new horizons are opening. You need to evaluate these.

    Given how much you like looking after children and cooking and cleaning, I'm inclined to suggest you look into opening a home daycare. Why not do what you like doing and earn a decent wage at the same time?

    Now, as for your brother ... As the others have said, helping out from time to time is one thing but doing it all the time for free is out of the question. If you're just looking for something to do, why not get involved in your children's school(s) and extracurricular activities? Do something for YOUR family first. If you do decide to do it, find out the current going rate for child care and do it for 75% of that price - they'd still be getting a bargain.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 11:13 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

  • Here's an after thought. You may not need the extra money right now but who is going to pay for college for your children? Why throw all of your free time away for nothing, not a cent, when you could be earning for their future. Looking after your brother's kids and home all day for free is pure neglect of your own family. Pure neglect. Why should you look after their kids (THEIR responsability) so that their hands are free and can go make money.

    Any family member who says you shouldn't accept a cent needs their head examining...
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 11:17 AM on Dec. 26, 2013

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