I am a Christian and want to honor my dad. However, since we reconnected two years ago and he bought a house 45 minutes away from us, he has become increasingly needy. He doesn't take my advice and this puts my DH and I in harder situations when it comes to helping him.
To give an example: He was looking to move to our state. I suggested that he move in close range to where we are building a house so that as he ages and needs more help, it will be more convenient for us as we have three young children already. Instead, he chose a random house in a crime ridden area (I told him before he bought it about the county information I'd looked up showing recent nearby stabbings) to buy out of foreclosure that is an hour and 30 minutes from where we are building. Now, because he drives trucks and is on the road 5 days a week, he is concerned about his house being broken into and wants us to stop by his house so that people see that "someone is home." He wants us to do this on our way back and forth to the house we are building (we are building it by hand on my husband's two days off a week with three kids under age five in tow). It's only 45 minutes from where we currently live, but once we move, we obviously won't be traveling (if only because of the cost of gas that we can't afford) an hour and a half to sit at their house for a couple of hours - it's hard enough to visit when my dad is there let alone to visit his house when he's not there!
For our mental and physical health, we just can't take on extra right now. I tell him this repeatedly, but requests go on and not just regarding this situation. He'll offer to pay us to help him fix things up around his house or sell his truck, tempting because we're tight on money, but we're also strapped for time right now. He'll borrow our car because he took a trucking job states away and drove his vehicle there and left it! So when he's in town he wants to use our second vehicle, though it has multiple issues that are growing as it gets more miles.
I feel like if there was a magic button or magical words that I could say, he would understand that my husband and I are busy with our kids, my husband's work for meager wages at a grocery store, and building our house. We want to help our family and people in general, but we have a calling to accomplish these others things as well. He makes some kind of time consuming request (and I mean he'll say 5 minutes and it's 30, he'll say, help me sell my truck...and look for another car, I'll come over at 3 and it's 7:00 pm).
As a Christian, should I even make a big deal about this? Is there something I can say? Am I missing something about men or dads that I don't understand that could help me?
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