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My 7yr old son is becoming the world's biggest LIAR.

He was in his room playing with friends and they started fighting about whose turn it was to play the xbox. My son came and told me they wouldn't let him play, so I told him they needed to take turns. My son goes in there and I over heard him say "my mom said if you don't let me play right now you have to get out of my room"... He has been lying about all sorts of other stuff lately too. I've tried explaining to him that lying will only get him into trouble but he keeps doing it. How do I get him to stop???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Dec. 28, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • In first grade our oldest started lying to us. One day I asked him what he hated to do the most. He said cleaning. I implemented a hour of cleaning for each lie told policy. Each time he told a lie, he had to clean something in our house. He HATED it and stopped lying!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:09 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • For lies like that versus tall tales, I think a "lie means cleaning" policy like Beautee suggested is a good idea. Writing "I will tell the truth" thirty times for each lie told at that age might also do the trick.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:00 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Did you go in their and confront him in front of his friend. That you did not say that?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Louise yes I confronted him in front of his friends. And for the cleaning idea.. I'm not sure that would work since he actually likes to clean lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:45 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • lying is normal. Each age does it for different reasons.


    a couple links:


    http://psychcentral.com/lib/when-a-child-lies/0004855


    http://www.parenting.com/article/why-kids-lie-age-by-age?page=0,3


     

    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • I don't have much advice, since my 5 year old only recently started attempting a few lies... but sounds to me like he's just realized that sometimes, lies really work! Good luck! :)
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 1:13 PM on Dec. 30, 2013

  • It helps to look at the reasons for the behavior. Kids lie in the context you describe in order to try to make things work out their way when they feel powerless & don't know what else to do. Treating it solely as "bad behavior" that will get him in trouble does not help address the underlying issue of not knowing what else to do in that situation!
    I think it's helpful to acknowledge WHY it's happening & offer more acceptable solutions. In this way, you work on removing the need for the behavior, rather than trying to force its extinction through negative consequences (as if he's "just" being a bad kid.)
    In a social (friends) situation, when kids are jockeying for leverage or power in order to ensure their own fun, it can get stressful. A kid may not like a particular dynamic & may try to assert himself, and he needs help for how to navigate what is bothering him. It's easy to react but best to be responsive.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:07 PM on Dec. 30, 2013

  • Lying at that age is normal. It is a skill even. Developmentally appropriate but annoying. It does not mean you are raising a liar. It does mean he is practicing a new skill that will help him later on. We all lie. Tiny white lies that help us out and this is the time we start learning how to do it well. It is also about power and gaining the upper hand in some way. I tackle head on. I am not taking it personal when lied to by my seven year old but I also don't allow him to "get away with it." I give a consequence just like any other situation. I acknowledge I have been lied to, I state how that makes me feel to be lied to, how lying may impact him in the future (you can lose friends, I might not trust you), and then I give a consequence. Nothing harsh or long lasting. Typical consequences for our home: having to stop playing a game, no screen time for the hour, time out for a toy he was playing with, time out...
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:03 PM on Jan. 1, 2014

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