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So last night...... adult content

... My husband and I had Great sex! Ok, Hold on, getting to the question! LOL
Ok, well the thing is, I have Always been on the shy side, so even with him, even after 13 years -been together since I was a teen and he was....well A Lot older!- I have a hard time speaking up, telling him what I want, so last night i decided to stop being quiet and I told him what I wanted, Now! LOL And it felt good! But he has this thing... and I want to please him too. Well this thing is, he wants to... have anal sex... and sometimes RARELY, I will let him used his finger on my behind there while we have sex, and it even feels kinda good, but he is well....Big, I mean he is a Big guy and That 'part' is exceptionally big like the rest of him.
So I mean, I want to try.... But I want to enjoy it too...and Not be injured...maybe ease into it....
Sorry I know this is like Really personal and intimate. But I did not know who else to ask....
There is one other part to this. Ok, Now I am gonna sound like a Freak! LOL. But recently I got done reading the book, 50 shades of gray, and I have been wanting to try some of the things in there. Obviously, with 3 kids, and we don't have our own back room dungeon, it is a bit trickier, but I know he is into that, he just doesn't think I am, so how do I show him I am into it? And How would I start? Shy remember? LOL

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Dec. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • This is a question for PGA! I'm sure she'll be here soon. :)

    Answer by KTElite at 9:14 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Your ass will hurt. A lot.

    Answer by staciandababy at 9:25 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Yeah...PGA is the one to answer this.

    But some advice. Stop reading Twilight fanfiction. If you want to read erotica, there are far better novels out there.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 9:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • No clue on this but I agree PGA will have the answer or product!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:33 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • He's your husband! How can you have sex with a guy you can't talk to? I mean, you could leave some "toys" (ie blindfold, hand restraints, nipple clamps, etc) out for him to find, or you could decide to improve your communication and just talk to him.

    Answer by missanc at 9:34 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • No booty, no backstage pass.
    IMO-it hurts, fantasy maybe says that is is amazing, but shy or not, if it is bigger than a finger, it doesn't feel good, LOL!

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 9:35 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Leave the book open on the page you want him to read and include a cute note like "tell me what you think, honey!"

    Answer by silverthreads at 9:42 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • blindfolds,handcuffs,whips,clamps,gags, are fun but anal I have no advice on sorry.

    Answer by liss05 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • I believe PGA has a party tonight but she usually comes in afterward.
    MY DH is also on the generous side and IMO there are things that sound interesting in books but are seriously no fun. What is and what isn't is something you try out and see for yourself.
    I would leave the book open and maybe underline a passage or two and leave it on his pillow.
    I personally would not leave toys around unless you and you DH were communicating about this area better. You have made a start and it will be easier to talk to him as you keep trying. I do not know your DH but some men might wonder where you are getting these ideas and the book will help get any suspicions out of the way.
    The nice thing is that if something doesn't work you can not do it again and laugh about it later.
    When we were young the Kama Sutra was was THE thing and we enjoyed some. Some might cause serious injury. LOL

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:55 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

  • Well, I've tried a few things. Not going to reveal the details. What I'll say is go slow. You can always do more, but you can't go back once you've gone too far. Implement safewords. Green means we're doing great. Yellow means ease off. Red means stop right now. That way you can both be instantly on the same page. Don't be afraid to use the words. That gives you somewhere to start. But communication is important. You'll have a hard time if you can't talk to each other. What have you got to lose by talking? Turn the lights off and speak in the dark if you have to so you aren't looking at each other.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:24 PM on Dec. 28, 2013

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