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Is it wrong to be friends with your ex?

My ex was one of my best friends and also my class fellow from 5th grade to 8th grade. We had amazing understanding and he really supported me when I had a rough patch in my late teens. We had planned to get married but things didn't work out so we went our separate ways. I got married and have kids and a life which I love. Got in touch with my ex after 6 years. So no we're not having an affair but we did talk like really good old friends. After all we were best friends before we started dating. He's in a serious relationship and is planning to get married soon. So we talk and chat and enjoy each other's company. Is that wrong? One of our common friends found out about this and got pissed at me that what I'm doing is wrong. She told me he's a guy and they're usually blockheads. I should be more sensible.
I'm in a good place in my life and I know he is too. Unlike a lot of my fake and selfish friends, I know he's a really good and sincere one. Sure we had a thing but now we've moved on in our lives. Is it wrong to remain friends with your ex?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on Dec. 29, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • There is nothing wrong with it provided you are above-board with it towards your husband. You need to make sure he meets him and knows him.

    I'm sorry your friend has such a narrow-minded view of men.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 5:34 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • As long as his fiance' & your husb. don't mind, then I see no reason why you can't continue your friendship. I have a few male friends who I love like brothers. It is very possible for men & women to be JUST friends.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:17 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • Have you told your DH you are talking to an old flame/friend?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:58 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • Sounds like maybe your friend is seeing something you either can't or refuse to see. It's not necessarily wrong to be friends with an ex, it really depends on the circumstances. But it sounds like your friend can see something between the two of you, whether it's one-sided or mutual, that tells her what you're doing is wrong. I wouldn't simply discount her without at least considering what she has to say.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:43 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • as long as everyone is aware, and maybe you can hang out as couples rather than just the 2 of you
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:35 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • I would be careful. I think it would be very easy to cross the line, especially when one of you is having marital conflict, which will surely happen. I would cut out now the private conversations and speak with him only when others were present.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:44 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • As long as you're husband knows what is going on, it's probably okay. I would never meet a male friend or have him over without my husband being there, even if I trust the friend implicitly. Not because I think something might happen, but because I don't want to do anything that could be considered inappropriate. That's how rumors get started and relationships can end.

    You do need to behave differently when you have a male friend than with a female friend.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:53 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • I don't think it is wrong. I would  include your husband and your friends fiance' in the friendship.   It should be friendship betwwen both couples at this point.    You are now a part of a couple and should be in everything as one- not seperate.  

    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 1:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • I'm best friends with two of my ex's. My SO knows too. As long as both parties SOs knows and neither care. I say there is nothin wrong with it.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:06 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • My boyfriend and I are both friends with our exes. My ex lives in another state, but we e-mail a lot. My boyfriend knows it. I've sent my ex money in an emergency with no intention of getting it back, and My boyfriend knew it and had no objection to it. Actually, we're both still good friends with his ex wife and hang out at her house for holidays and the like. It seems better for all of us to get along instead of hating each other, and it sure works out more smoothly for their kids. We have a good time, especially now that their grandmother has moved away and is no longer stirring up tension between my boyfriend and his ex wife. We're all back to getting along again, the way we were before she was causing conflict. Why have animosity just because you can't live together anymore? I know it doesn't always work out harmoniously that way, but if it does, go with it.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:22 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

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