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Who is right?

DS13 was supposed to go trapping with my brother early this morning but last night DSs good friend told him that his parents are sending him to live in another state this week. He wanted to spend the day with DS since he won't be seeing himfor a long time. So DS explained to my brother...and mom...that he can't go trapping b/c he's going to spend time with bff. Well all hell broke lose. My mom got mad at me and DS. She yelled saying how could he do this to my brother and that my bro planned this day trip only for DS. He didn't. He was going anyway and asked if DS wanted to go. She was out of control and made DS tear up b/c he felt so bad. My bro went anyway, no big deal.

So was she out of line making DS13 cry or should DS have gone trapping and not spent the time with bff? She confuses me sometimes.

I'm happy he didn't go b/c I don't believe in trapping. Its a cruel sport and I hate it.

Answer Question
 
jenny3344

Asked by jenny3344 at 11:48 AM on Dec. 29, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,312 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Your son made a commitment, so I can understand why they might be a little upset. But I can also see why this would be one of those instances where you might break a commitment. His best friend is about to move away and he doesn't know when he might see him again. He can go trapping anytime (well, anytime within trapping season, etc.), but he can't redo these last few days with his friend.

    I think your mom got more upset than was necessary and made your son feel worse than he already did, and that was pretty crappy of her.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:54 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • If something like that had happened, I would be all for my child spending time with their friend vs spending time with family.

    Your mom needs to chill the hell out.
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:55 AM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • I think your mom was wrong, because none of this affects HER. What right does she have to bitch about whether or not your son goes on a trip with his uncle? Where is she involved in this? Was your brother upset that your son didn't go? Yes he made a commitment but if your brother understands he situation it is no longer an issue.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:02 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • My brother understood and said they can go another time....Thank u ladies. I thought my mom was acting a bit nutty.
    jenny3344

    Comment by jenny3344 (original poster) at 12:06 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • Your son did the right thing....friendships are so important at that tender age and his friend's move will be a heartbreaker for him. Going trapping together is an issue between your son and your brother, not your mom's business. Your brother did the right thing by saying they can go another time. There will be plenty of opportunities for that. And I agree that trapping is cruel. (sure you want your son doing that?)
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 12:17 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • Your mom was nuts. Keep an eye out; if she overreacts like this often it may be time for a word with her doc.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:16 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • I don't get why she was upset...makes NO sense...

    if he was going anyway, no biggie really, I mean I can see him being bummed, but any sane person would be totally fine with your son spending time with his best friend instead due to his going away
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:38 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • She overreacted, big time. I don't see why she was even involved in the conversation.

    Your brother was going, one way or the other. He INVITED your son along. At first your son committed to going. Usually I'd say he should honor his commitments. BUT, there were some last minute extenuating circumstances. Your son didn't just blow off your brother. He (I assume) calmly and rationally explained WHY he needed to back out at the last minute. If your brother was okay with that, then your mom needs to butt out.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:47 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • Your mom is wrong. She should apologize to your Son for making him cry.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:12 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

  • As long as your brother understood, your mom had nothing to be upset about. If your brother had made plans and put out a lot of money or something I would say your brother might have a right to be upset, but not your mom. Most people would understand a change of plans under those circumstances.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:21 PM on Dec. 29, 2013

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