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2 Bumps

Do you ever want to reach out to family members, but you know it's pointless?

ugh, it's especially hard to resist the urge to do it on holidays. my 6 year old niece is in town from michigan (well my ex's niece but i consider her mine too, ive been in her life since she was born) and my younger two girls got to spend time with her over christmas but only because the court order forced them to be over there and my ex sil and ex husband both live in ex mil's home. but if it weren't for that, they wouldn't have seen her either i'm sure. i tried reaching out twice already, once early xmas eve day just to see if we could meet at a playground or they could come over here so her and my 7 year old could play but that didn't pan out. then i tried one more time last friday, just asking a general question of if and when we could get ALL the girls together before she leaves this weekend. no response. so now im just itching to ask if they want to come over here and hang out with us for new year's eve but i know i'm going to kick myself later if i ask. it's useless because they won't. my oldest daughter & i are simply not on the priority list of people they want her to see while she's in town anymore. so why bother :(

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Asked by tnm786 at 12:58 PM on Dec. 31, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Sounds like you have to do your best to let it go. My ex has two ADORABLE nieces who I miss FIERCELY. One is 6 (she was born three months before my son, and my ex-SIL and I were pregnant together) and the other is 3. I used to work at Toys R Us and they would visit me there all the time and call me auntie, but I haven't seen them now in a long time. I miss them, but I know I have no control over whether I get to see them or not. Sucks, but that's life.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 1:13 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • I get it, I really do. Been there, done that. Basically, you have two options, and I know this from lots of tears and hard-won experience. You either don't reach out, or you reach out with no expectations of what happens, or knowing you probably won't get what you want, and see what comes of it.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:21 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • I think I would keep asking as long as you want to do it. You are holding out the invitation and she can or not take it.
    She is your ex's sister and lives there so if he did not wish for you all to get together (be friendly) then she might not feel it is a very comfortable (wise) thing for her to do right now. How does MIL feel about you?
    I would preserve my home life quality over a once or twice a half year outing
    I would not stop trying..

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:30 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • You have tried, in my book that gets you marks.
    IDK you can't fix stupid, so rest assured that you have once again been the bigger person in this mess. Surely you can write bigger person on your resume"?
    I am not trying to make light of it, just want you to stop stressing over what you can't control.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 2:34 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • You tried and they do not answer or want to. That is all you can do.
    I Facebooked both my DD this year. To say Marry Christmas, how is everything type stuff. Didn't here a peep from them. Yet.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:10 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • Louise, I am truly sorry for you.
    I think you should just show up on the door step and ask for forgiveness of what ever they think or that you have done wrong. Life is too short to not have your kids in your life.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 3:21 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • I think Ballad has it down pad...I reach out without expectations, and if I am lucky I will succeed, but if I am not it is ok too...I tried.....

    Answer by older at 8:22 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

  • thats the thing, i want to keep trying even knowing ill never get anywhere. but i guess it still bugs me being ignored and deprived of time with a little girl that my daughter and i love ;(

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 8:27 PM on Dec. 31, 2013

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