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This kind of goes with my question "What the hell did he mean?"

This morning our son was in bed and woke up at about 4:30. He was still sleepy and decided to throw his bottle under the bed. Well my fiance got mad because he couldn't find the bottle, he started being rough with things, ripped the nightlight out of the wall, and told our son to shut up and lay down (14 months old). He told me he gets so annoyed and pissed off when our son makes an EEEing noise that sometimes he regrets having him. Later he told me 99% of the time he regrets having him because all the fights and tension we have with each other come from our son. If he weren't here we wouldn't be living with family, we wouldn't be waking up early in the morning, or going to bed early. He's pretty much telling me everything is our sons fault. He says he loves him to death but still regrets having him. I told him not to ever say something like that about him again. What the hell is his problem? I told him he needs mental help.

 
bassyentihw

Asked by bassyentihw at 10:21 AM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (23)
  • Why are you fighting with this man to be the father that his son needs? Sounds to me that this is not what he wants and he's being forced to do it and by being forced to do it, he's making it hard on you...why go through the misery of it all and have your son scarred because Daddy has anger issues? Do you love him and think that love is enough to make him want to change his mind? I don't mean to sound rude but my first concern is his anger toward the child and what he might do "IF" a situation came up and your son irritated him...Talking to him and trying to get him to understand that his actions are hurting you and your child will not help at all...You've got to take action to make sure you and your child are safe!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:34 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • he does need some anger management. I would be affraid that his frustrations could lead to harming your son down the road.

    Just my O.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Living with Familly can be stressful itself, Do something to change up your routine,
    ITS Both your fiance an child you need to make happy,
    Maybe hes just in a rut, But do something different Fast!
    To help thier relationship an yours.
    Hope you get on your own soon, that will make a difference, make that a priorty!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I love my kids too and yes I do regret having them, it happens, but I would be really concerned about the anger thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • My hubby gets in those kinds of moods sometimes; I think men get frustrated that there are things outside their control that they have to deal with and they lash out. I just tell him to leave, or go for a walk or a ride and cool off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I can honestly say, that even when things are tough-I have NEVER regreted my kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Whew!! My initial reaction is to tell him to get the hell out then!!! But that's just a knee jerk reaction. You really need to just sit and talk about this with him. He's not the only one whose life was totally changed. I've said before, my husband says i'm a meanie sometimes, but i would probly tell him to grow the fuc* up already. He is having normal feelings though, he was just really really honest about it. which i guess is good. Good luck honey.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 10:36 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • He has no goals to make himself better. He works at a gas station and he refuses to get a better job, he said he could care less about having a house, he doesn't want people to care about him and he has no problem sleeping in his (which is actually mine) car. He said "if we get a house we'll have a house big deal" but then the next minute he wants a house. I have never regretted my son, even when we were having the worst luck ever, I never said it was all his fault. I don't know how he can regret him like that and just not care. He has no emotions, he can say the most hurtful things about me or our son and not think twice about it.
    bassyentihw

    Answer by bassyentihw at 10:37 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I would definitely say leave him. Especially if he isn't doing nothing to help your situation, as in not wanting to get a better job. I mean he seems to really have some issues, if you love him and care about him enough to stay with them then I suggest you have a serious conversation with him and help him get help from a professional. Seems to me like he has a lot of issues he has to deal with. Good luck.

    xocyncyn

    Answer by xocyncyn at 10:51 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • He sounds like he's in a total rut. And depressed. Can he go back to school? He could get financial aid and try that.....
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 10:51 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

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