I have a 5th Grade Girl, Only Child. She is popular, smart, healthy, & 10 going on 13. She is the last of all her friends & classmates to have an AOL Screen name for IM'ng. 1 of her friends is not very popular amongst the rest of the girls & her mom has expressed to me some concern about her child being treated unfairly. Because this child is not so popular with the rest of the girls my daughter has not played with her in a while until this week, they had 2 sleep overs. On 1 of the days there was some IMng & it was brought up on IM if anyone like this other girl & responses were negative. Now this girl is hurt & I feel responsible on my daughters behalf because my daughter was involved in the IMng. My daughter has felt the need to say to her other friends on seperate occasions that she did not like this girl even tho it was not true. My daughter is very sweet but feeling pressure - how can I help & teach her better?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)
Answer by gemgem at 11:33 AM on Feb. 20, 2009
Kids are cruel. You DD just doesn't want to be singled out and the target of the next stoning. You could explain the whole following the group is not always best. She will make a strong statement about her character if she thinks for herself. Although these a concepts that are learned through experience. If you talk to her about it maybe she'll recognize the epiphany sooner.
Answer by Farrahann at 11:40 AM on Feb. 20, 2009
Answer by Lil4babies at 12:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2009
Thanks the answers - I am new to this site and looking for advice.
I have done all those things, talk to her, explain to her situations I experienced to give her an example, point things out to her so she can see the connections, we'veÂ talked about karma, I do log her IM's and read them too.Â It is almost like she ignores it now when she used to be the kid that would stick up for someone being picked on.Â I know that this is normal stuff - she will have to experience things herself.Â I just don't want her to turn into one of those catty girls who talk about others behind their backs.Â I just wonder if there isÂ another way I can get through to her about peer pressure - I guess it is just reiteration right?Â I feel bad for this other mom & her daughter too - they have had tough times as it is and this kid could use friends instead of hearing on IM no one likes her.Â Its awful.
Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Feb. 20, 2009
This may sound silly but there are a lot of novels with interesting plots that discuss peer pressure. I would think falling into a plot and relating to characters might help her see things from different perspectives. Also you being who you are, respecting people, having empathy for that family, believing in karma, these are attributes that will rub off on her anyway.
Answer by Farrahann at 12:36 PM on Feb. 20, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Feb. 20, 2009
Answer by luckysevenwow at 7:16 PM on Feb. 20, 2009
Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 5:00 AM on Feb. 21, 2009