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How to deal with pregnant teen daughter?

I am a mother of three girls 7 9 an 13 .We talked about safe sex she knew I wanted for to with until marriage. Or at least till she was old enough .I am so angry but I don't want to take it out on her how do I cope with a angry hormonal teen girl who gust don't get what she has set herself up for.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It is very upsetting, knowing what lies ahead for her. Sex is more about responsibility, than pleasure nowadays, with the diseases, and pregnancy. But because they don't listen and they desire their independance from us. They think we are old, and unaware of things that go on today. Although we know nothing has changed, things have gotten worse. Support her the best way you can, don't talk down to her, or express your anger too much, it is ok to be angry, just express it with someone else, you do need to vent.. Let her know you are disappointed in her for making that decision, but that you will be there, also let her know it is her responsibility, but that you will support her.
    Amearia

    Answer by Amearia at 11:34 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Just keep talking to her and she will eventually open up to u. If u let her know how u feel and then drop it and just support her I promise she will open up.. If u throw it in her face and always show she screwed up she will never talk to u. Just be there for her and let her know u still love her. Suggest adoption..especially since she is only 13.
    katiebug840204

    Answer by katiebug840204 at 12:07 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I got pregnant at 15 and I became depressed because I had no one to talk to. When I was 6 months pregnant I finally told my parents and I felt a lot better. She needs support, my mom gave me amazing advice. Its ok to be upset but try not to let her see that because I'm sure she is already confused
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I was 17 years old when I became pregnant. Granted I was a senior in highschool and only had 3 months left until I graduated. My mom was very upset with me at first, but after she was done crying we talked about my situation like adults. She helped me in anyway possible. My mom and stepdad were great with the whole thing. They never once asked me to get an abortion/adoption. I'm sure that your daughter is very fearful right now, and doesn't know what to do. You just need to be their for her through thick and thin. Let her come to you and discuss this. Let her know that you will be their to talk about all of her fears. Leave the desicsions up to her. Let her know what her options are. Being 13 years old is VERY young, and I hope all works out.
    ali_1107

    Answer by ali_1107 at 12:23 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • explain to her that sense she wanted to do adult things now its time to grow up and be an adult she is going to be a mother it will be hard being young and all but its her who is going to be that babies mom no matter what if she needs help you will be there for her but only too help not too do it for her
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Well first you love her...regardless. Then you set up a meeting between boy, boys parents and you and your daughter. Talk about options and though its THEIR decision, keep in mind that she is 13 and will think like a 13 yr old. Shes not likely capable of making a decision without a lot of emotion and though thats normal, it might not be whats in her best interest. I would strongly suggest adoption. Thirteen is just unreal to be having a baby and expect to give him/her a life that he/she deserves.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 6:37 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Well being a young mom myself. It's very hard to go to your parents for help.
    You need to display your boundries but also be VERY supportive.
    Put your ager behind you because it's not needed at this point in time.
    she needs all the strong women in her life to support her and teach her about whats now happening to her body and the changes in life she's going to have to make.
    Remember she'll always be your little girl.. no matter what she does, who she's become or the life choices she's made.
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 7:14 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Well if your angry why did you allow for her to be able to go out and get pregnant. It just amazes me how young girls are that are having children. Just try to stay calm talk to her be there. Cause right now I think she needs a mother rather than a raging bull after her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Of course you are angry, this isn't the life you would have picked for her, or putting your family through all the turmoil that is sure to come in the next weeks/months/years. But there are ways of coping for you & her.

    There is a book available from Amazon.com for about $8 called, "Daddy, I'm Pregnant: One Family's Story of Turning Tragedy into Triumph". It's a true story about the journey of a family when their 14 yr old got pregnant. All the emotions of anger, sadness, hope, decisions, options, back & forth, letting it be her decision and her weighing the pros & cons since this grows her up pretty fast and this will forever change her life no matter what decision she makes. Having her put the baby up for adoption doesn't erase the experience, or the life she delivers. Very short book!

    http://www.amazon.com/Daddy-Im-Pregnant-Familys-Turning/dp/0899008003/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235230979&sr=1-1


    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:50 AM on Feb. 21, 2009