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How do you handle tattle telling? Or is your child a tattle teller?

We had a playdate yesterday...both 5 year old boys. The kid kept whining about my son doing this or that....my son was being very gracious to his guest, in my opinion and the kids mom. He came to me at one point and said that my son was bothering him. So I asked him how. And he says that my son sat on the bed when he sat on the bed. LOL...So I told him that he wasn't bothering him and that maybe he just wanted to play with him. The kid had a tantrum about wanting to switch games in the middle of one game...and then I caught him snatching out a video game while my son was in the middle of playing a game. He said that he wanted to play superman instead!! My son told him that it wasn't nice. The mom was there...pretty much coddled her child as if he could do no wrong. When he'd tattle tell about nonsense she'd listen and really take him serious.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Cont...I advise my son to always come to me if something is wrong but I don't allow BS tattle telling and whining over nothing.... How do you moms handle this? Or do you allow tattle telling?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I don't allow it. Granted my child isn't old enough to talk but I don't allow it when babysitting. It definitely hurts the feelings of the kid being "tattled" on especially when they're just complaining about stupid stuff (like sitting on the bed the same time he sat down). I always tell the kids that unless the other child is doing something dangerous that could hurt themselves or someone else, if they have a problem, tell the child they have a problem with about it. Sometimes I have to remind them "don't tell me, if you didn't like it, tell HIM." Then if it turns into a whine fest between the two kids, I correct that as well reminding them to be kind or they'll have to go into time-out. I'd also talk to the kid's mom and tell her it hurts your son's feelings when he's treated that way and ask her to talk to her son. After several attempts if that doesn't work, they couldn't play at my house anymore.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:28 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • When my son was about 5 he was a big tattle tail and with a cousin the same age and an uncle and 2 other cousins 4 years older when we were all together at my dads house which was a lot it was quite annoying so my dad finally told my son that sometimes kids need to get away with stuff to learn and to only tell us if someone was in danger or hurt. My son was/is a big rule tester so he immediately ran to the back yard where the other boys were and said every cuss word he could think of and when my little brother came tattling my son was right on his heels yelling "I didn't hurt anyone!" LOL After that he tattled alot less.
    But what you are describing is more of a brat whose mom babies him. I would give your son the choice to not play with him and if he doesn't want to then tell the mom why, give examples of things that bothered your son when they did play together.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 1:35 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • We tell our kids to tell us if someone is going to get hurt or something broken/damage. We tell them to tell them to stop and if they don't listen then they get a trusted adult. If someone is just getting on their nerves go away from them, I don't want to hear about it

    My dad never allowed us to tattle for anything. As soon as we said "Dad so and so did---" we were told "Go to your room". I wouldn't recommend that, b/c we never told our parents anything after we got the hang of that.
    4monkees

    Answer by 4monkees at 2:07 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • If my son tells me so and so hurt him, I ask if it was an accident. Usually he'll say yes, then he'll let it go. Or if the parent is sitting there and sees their kid acting up and my son tells me the kid is doing something bad, I tell him to let the kids parent take care of it. In this case, it sounds like the kid your son was playing with is a brat, I would probably try and limit play dates. My son is old enough to spot whiners and doesn't like to play with them. And I really have no tolerance for it eithier! I've been known to tell a kid that keeps tattling, "are you going to live? Should we call the ambulance?" Sounds harsh I know but it wears me down after awhile!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

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