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How do I make this work?

My bf and I are unhappy. We dont have sex, or have fun together anymore. Our lives consist of work, and taking care of baby(11 months) and FIGHTING with eachother. It is tearing me apart and I really dont think it will change. I have tried and and tried and I think he is depressed and is just shutting life out. (Including me) I do not want to leave him, I love him very much, but no sex and all this unhappiness is just driving me insane. I want so badly to just go get it somewhere else, but I wont. I love him too much to do anything like that. Any advice for me? We just moved into a new place, and every day we've been here so far has just been fighting and fighting. I want this to be a new beginning for us. Please help. :) Thankyou!

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Sherrae

Asked by Sherrae at 2:52 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 9 (335 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Sorry honey!! I dont know what to tell you but try counseling and GOD!! I am not very happy in my marriage either. We also have a 6 months old. We fight but not as often. I get annoyed with him because he has too many baggages from his past. His biggest baggage to me is his situation with crazy insane baby mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Keep your mouth shut whenever you feel like fighting. Give him more compliments and hugs. Make his favorite foods.
    As for your sexual need...that's what masturbation is made for.
    Back off awhile and let him chill, girl.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I've always been told that it takes two to argue. When dh and I decided to get married and moved in together, I didn't realized that he had the temper he had...he would snap at the drop of a hat and I wasn't great at controlling my temper either...I knew that I wanted my marriage to work so I knew that one of us had to take a stand and change things around...therefore, I took the stand. whenever he would start an arguement, I would ignore him. I would leave out the room he was in and settle myself down with a good book and I prayed. I'll tell you...that first step was the beginning of the wonderful marriage we have 20 years later...Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of arguements but I picked and & choose my battles wisely...I knew that my dh was either going through a difficult period or he was scared about something,,,Hang in there cause it does get better but you've got to make the comittment to get it there.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Having a baby is stressful! Don't forget that this changed both of your lives. Now he is responsible for another human being and for some guys this can be really scary. I agree with you that he's probably shutting himself off from everything. Is he the kind of guy that can open up and talk? If not, he may just need some extra assurance from you that you still love him, that you are happy that you have this new little person to bond you two together, and that things will get better. It can turn into a "round robin" of well hes mad, so I'm mad and he's being grumpy, so I get grumpy..... And let me guess, when you fight its about 1) money 2) who is taking care of the baby/not taking enough care of the baby and 3) how you guys never have sex anymore...Am i right? These are all normal fights, but can ruin a relationship if not handled quickly. Try getting some counseling if he'll go. Good luck and hang in there.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

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