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My friend hates my husband....

O.k., here's the scenario:

I am friends with a couple and have been for over 10 years. They were mutual friends of my ex husband and I. I "inherited" them after the divorce.

I have been with a new man for 6 years. My friends have never liked my current guy, partially because of the past friendship with my ex, and partially because me and my new guy had a rocky couple of years.

Recently, my friends have become reacquainted with my ex husband. Now, all of a sudden, my current guy is not welcome in their home. But they still want me and the kids to come over. Tommorow is their daughters third birthday party. They want me and the kids there, and my ex "might" be there (according to my friend) but my new husband is not welcome.

What should I do, go, and grin and bear it.... or should I cut off this friendship? It should be noted that my current husband does not like my 2 friends, either.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • umm...well i don't like particulary, my bf's hubby either but i would never ban him from my house. to do so would mean i'd lose my bf. you should support your husband. who are they to tell you who to be with anyway?
    were i you, i'd tell her look, this is my husband. you don't have to love him but you do have to accept him.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 4:41 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • well its up to you but i dont think i would go anywhere that my SO is not welcome. its a package deal, you take all or nothin.
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 3:15 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Why on earth would you continue this friendship? These people are not behaving like friends. The only reason I can think of to justify their behavior is if they had a valid reason to believe your husband is abusive. If that's the case, well, then you have bigger problems. But otherwise, ditch these so-called friends and don't look back.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 3:16 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I would probably just fade out of that friendship. You don't have to cause conflict just tell them your hubby will be around tomorrow and you guys were looking forward to spending time together. think about it with an open mind...do they not accept your husband because he is not good to you? Is their reason justified? Just want to throw that in before you cut off a friendship and stay in a relationship that may not be healthy. (not saying it is unhealthy just don't know how rocky the years were)
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • True friends are going to accept your current husband. My best friends have had their issues with my husband in the past but they would NEVER try to exclude him. Personally, I would tell them that if my husband isn't welcome than I am not either.
    Silvertears1275

    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 3:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I agree with all the above.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • They do not sound like friends to me. If they wanted to be friends with you, they would want what makes you happy. Any person who wouldn't allow your current husband in their home just because they are friends with your ex-husband isn't worth having as a friend. My best friend and my husband don't really like each other but they both love me and they just deal with each other. They would never act poorly towards the other. You need to move on from these friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I think that is very rude of your friends to act this way. What?  Are they TRYING to get you to pick them over your current dh.  I would cut ties with them the past was the past with them.


    Now if they will grow up and act like normal people should, then yeah let's all be friends.


    good luck

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Just to play devil's advocate here: What did your SO do to make them dislike him so? Are you a bit wishy washy about him anyway?
    I'm speaking as a best friend to a woman who has had some terrible relationships in the past (one mean, stupid, abusive man in particular). I did not like him. Her family did not like him. And he would not have been welcome in my house after some of the things he did. Luckily, she eventually was free of him.
    I think friends and family have a right to disapprove of a relationship you are in while still being a good friend and/or loved one to you. This of course, totally depends on whether you think this man may have done something to you or another of you loved ones that deserves this cold shoulder.
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 3:47 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • If your friends have valid reasons for not liking your current husband then they are not out of line about not wanting him in their home...and since you knew that they didn't care for him in the first place, I personally would've ended the friendship because my dh comes before anyone...with that in mind also not, if you've given them only a negative outlook on this man, then they still have every right to not want him around them...even though your relationship with this man has improved, telling your freinds of the problems you had with him caused them to feel this way about him...but I'm speculating, as well as the other posters...to get to the heart of it all you must ask your freinds why they dislike your husband...good luck
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:06 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

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