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What can I tell him to make him understand?

Okay so here is my problem, my SO's mom has been bugging the crap out of me to bring the baby to his aunts house for St Patricks day so everyone else in HIS family can see the baby (who is 6 months old so he is not going with her alone), well I told him I just dont feel comfortable going with out him and he thinks thats stupid, he says why not blah blah blah, and really its because I am naturally a shy person, I am breastfeeding and my son wont take a bottle, I feel like his mom will be busy talking and what not with everyone, and to be honest I just dont want to go with out him, he has this thing where his ex and there kids used to go (and still does) to all of his family functions with out him, but I am NOT her, I dont want to be all up his familys butts, KWIM, how can I make him understand that its not anything against his family its just a weird situation for me, with out sounding like a big babt about it?

 
hautemama83

Asked by hautemama83 at 4:55 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (-14 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Well, tell him that your are NOT his ex, and he has no right to expect you to do things as she did. And he shouldn't expect you to go to see HIS family, which I guess you don't know very well, without him. Maybe you are being a baby, but it seems he is, too. The more you don't want to go, the more he wants you to go. It's always good to know how to pick your battles, but since he obviously thinks you are willing to do things that his ex would do, I'd pick this one. I'd put my foot down, and not go. Not unless he goes. And, what? Does he have much more important things to do then to introduce his child to his family??
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 5:31 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Well to be honast I think you are kinda being a big baby...... I have the same issues with things im kinda shy around people i dont know so then I seem to come off as a bitch!! Im also having trouble going places with all of our kids to family and friend functions cause we have more kids than everyone (3) and we are the only ones not married and its just kind of an embarrasing situation for me!! But I go becasue it makes him happy and thats what you do in relationships!! Just go for him even if its just for a little bit!! We all have to make sacrifices in relationships and if he would do it for you then you need to do the same
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 5:03 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • so its a st.pattys party at HIS aunts, but HES not going?? and expects you to go even though you are shy and uncomfortable?

    is that how it is bc that was a little confusing?
    Tiffany8168

    Answer by Tiffany8168 at 5:04 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • If hes not going I don't think that you should be pushed into going by yourself. If his family wants to see your baby then why don't they visit? I would tell him nope, I'm not going. I wouldn't go to any of my in-laws stuff w/out my hubby. My BIL does, and drives me nuts! I think he is just an a$$ kisser myself.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 5:15 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • why can't any of them come see you? the baby is 6 months old and no one's come to visit? if he's not going, you don't have to go either. i wouldn't feel comfortable going to my hubs' family functions without him- they are all about eating eating eating, and i have a problem with eating in public, and if he's not there, i could have an anxiety attack. and when i get anxious, i come off as really rude.
    MaMaLaLa369

    Answer by MaMaLaLa369 at 5:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • if you dont feel comfortable without him then dont go. im the same way im a very shy and kinda would stand in the background it takes a while for me to be comfortable around anyone. and to breastfeed your baby i can understand cause you dont want to show your tata's to world i probely wouldnt want to either why not have a family function of your own oneday with husband there invite the whole family or stay a while. i hate partys always have and to have no one there i know like husband would make me as bored as hell
    mommyofone0724

    Answer by mommyofone0724 at 5:52 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • If he's not going, I wouldn't.
    If he is, then I would just find a bedroom/other room where no one was so that I could nurse in privacy Baby is 6 months old, he should get to know some of his family!
    mrseum

    Answer by mrseum at 6:05 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I have no problem with the baby meeting the rest of his family, its just the fact that I wouldn't expect him to go and see my family with out me, but he expects me do go see his with out him, most of these ppl are ppl I have NEVER met, I would never put him in a situation he wasn't comfortable with, not to mention that most of them are all buddy buddy with his ex, and she has gone and talked all kinds of crap about me to them about how our baby isn't his and whatever, how I stole him from her (which I didn't really he did leave her to be with me BUT I didn't steal him from her), I know the only ones who I know that will be there is some of his cousins and they already have given me all kinds of attitude because of what his ex has said, I know it all seems very petty but I just think he should be there with me

    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 6:31 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Sounds like you are too afraid of being compared to the EX that you are trying to keep your distance. However, if you are never around his family they will never get to fully know you and your son, thus they will never really know how different you really are from the EX. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I think its unrealistic of him to expect you to go there without him. Especially if there is a chance his ex and the kids will be there. Talk about akward! And i'm not a shy person at all, but probably wouldn't be comfortable doing something like that. Maybe see if you can get some one on one time with a family member or two (like his mom or a sister/cousin that hasn't been tainted by the ex) at your place first. Then maybe you will feel more comfortable going knowing that at least a few members are on "your side". Or, even bring one of YOUR relatives with you to "help you with the baby" while you are visiting. (like to help you pack around all the baby's things etc) so that you aren't going all alone.
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:21 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

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