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What can I expect in my custody hearing?

Good Afternoon ladies!
I have a question that I am overly worried about, please do not judge me as I am looking for your opinions and do not want to be judged, thank you in advance for your understanding.
I have a 10 month old daughter that I raise by myself, I was not married to her father, I requested a DNA test be performed for child support services, he has bought two packages of diapers thus far. Fast forward, I was served with a petition for custody, where he asks the courts to grant him sole custody and to give me supervised visitation.
He has see our daughter a total of 3 times for 2 hours for all combined visits. Y daughter does not know him or recognize him right now.
I was arrested and charged with solicitation in 2004 and 2007, both misdemeanors. The 2007 is to be expunged. I know I think awful for this, it was 7 years ago and I am not the person that I was back then. I have come a long way. I am older, and understand what I did was morally wrong and dangerous as well.. My daughter loves me and of course I love her. We are members at Church where I had her dedicated. We attend weekly story time at the library, I am very hands on with my daughter and we spent all of our time together ( I work from home)

I knew that my ex ( my daughters father ) took pain medication but was unaware if the extent until yesterday. I went to court and pulled his divorce from 2 years ago, his wife swore that he has been in and out of multiple drug rehabs, and that he overdosed in the past, she stated that he was a drug addict/ abuser.. I have also found out that he drives to another state every month where his doctor prescribes 300 roxycodone pills a month! He also takes Lunesta at night. His ex-wife states her concern with him having their children in the car ( they have two boys aged 15 and 7) while he drives. She states that he constantly overmedicates.
I also have a copy of a restraining order that she filed against him last year. She wrote that he threatened to kill her. She also stated that his brother killed her mother years ago and that she feared for her life.
I ran his criminal record and found a felony for criminal damage that was dropped to a misdemeanor. Also an indecent exposure charge a simple battery charge and multiple speeding tickets and moving violations.
I am mostly concerned about what would happen to my daughter should he drop one of his pills and my daughter put it in her mouth... This is heartbreaking as I think about how my baby cries when I walk out of her presence for just a moment.
However, I know she is his daughter to, I just want to be certain that my baby will be safe.
Please think about this and let me know your opinion as far as what the courts will order...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Mar. 11, 2014 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Do you both have attorneys?

    Answer by momngram at 3:05 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • He does, I am in the process of hiring one.
    I am wondering how much the judge will consider my previous charges when that was way before my daughter were born, and I have not even had a speeding ticket since then..?
    I forgot to add that his ex wife was named domicilarry parent with the father having every other weekend..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • Best to get a lawyer and let him tell you what will happen. Sound to me like you both have past problems. i do not know how this workd with custody things.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:24 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • You definitlely need an attorney also

    Answer by escuchar at 4:56 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • In my experience with judges in this area (Ive been a caseworker), they don't want to hear anything that's more than a year old unless it's totally relevant in the present. So your charges from 7 years ago won't be heard unless there is suspicion you are still solicitating. Likewise, his rehab issues wont be heard unless it's suspicious that he is not living in recovery but still living in addiction. I don't know about your local judges, but that's how it works here.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • This could turn in to a pissing match. He did that, she did that, etc. I'd tread pretty lightly.

    Answer by abecee at 5:03 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • You should be able to use the fact that his ex has custody of their children because of his addiction and such to help bolster your case. I don't know how your past charges will affect the case, though. I definitely think you need to talk to a lawyer about that.

    If you have proof (and by proof, I mean actual proof, not that so and so says) that he's going to another state and getting 300 pills per month, take that to court. Talk to both his ex and your lawyer about possibly having her testify as to her reasons for not wanting him to have custody of their kids and what proof she has, to try to make your case better.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:15 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • Something from so long ago is not likely to have an impact. You DO have the right to request a drug test, but if he has a legitimate rx then it wouldn't matter. The judge will look at the care of the child (healthy, happy, clean) and the normal daily routine (always with you, he has had 2hrs in 10 months). Also the willingness of the other parent to support a relationship with non custodial parent. Why is he going for custodial now? Does he have any more recent "dirt"on you? I would suggest a lawyer since he had one. Also you can go to the police station and request a copy of any police reports (like the domestic battery charge, and the felony that was pled down, etc). Getting the original police report gives you access to the witness statements which are often pretty bad. I got one for our custody case and it cost $10. The details on that report were shocking about how badly he beat his pregnant wife it was sickening!

    Answer by Caoimhe_Oona at 7:20 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • Have you been served with papers saying he is bringing you to court for custody stuff? Or is he just telling you he is going to do it? If he he is just saying it. I would wait tell I was served. He might be bluffing. Waste a lot of money on a lawyer and he is just bluffing .

    Answer by louise2 at 9:27 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

  • I was served, last week..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:32 PM on Mar. 11, 2014

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