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Giving birth doesn't make you a mother.

Does any one else hate this statement? I've seen it a couple times and it really irks me.
The most dangerious thing I ever did for my daughter was give birth to her.
How is that not parenting?
How is nuturing a child in your womb not parenting?
I just find that coment and others like it so dismissive of what it takes to bring a child into the world.

Answer Question

Asked by funnygirlecu at 7:44 PM on Feb. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Yeah that's an annoying comment, but I think people who say that are normally people who adopt or have been in contact with very negligent mothers. I am having a rough time with my girl at 37 wks. and know that all of this is definitely part of being a mother (sacrificing my body and self for my baby's well-being), but I'm also aware that there are a lot of women who have babies who are not good mothers, thus, just simply giving birth to their kids doesn't necessarily make them a mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • kind of like donating sperm doesnt make you a father. i think both statements are true.

    Answer by Chandra034 at 7:49 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • There are many women I have seen who have given birth who I would not refer to as a 'mother'.
    There are some women who abuse their bodies while pregnant, and abuse their babies when they are born - who are clearly not 'mothers'.

    You may not be pne of them (I'm sure you aren't), but I do agree with that statement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I agree with the statement as well...although would be willing to offer a slight change...

    Giving birth may make you a "mother" but it doesn't make you a "mommy".

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Doesn't sound like that statement applies to you. No mother is better than some birth mothers. We've all heard of crack smoking, prostituting, alcoholic "mothers" who neglect and abuse their children. They are not moms. Neither are women who keep having babies because they are irresponsible and don't take care of any of them. I have never taken offense to those kinds of statements because they are not about me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • i think the statment can be true. just because you carry a baby for 9months and give birth to it doesnt make you a mother. you have to love and take care of that baby afterwards and lots of people dont do this. Doesnt sound like this statement regards you but i do understand where some people it would.
    its like the statment donating sperm doesnt make you a father. You have to earn those roles as mother and father regardless of giving birth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • I agree with Anon-7:51. It doesn't make you a Mother to just have a baby. A mother is nuturing and caring and some pregnant women are clearly not caring for there unborn child. Also, women who have had a baby who abuse them are clearly not "Mothers", they just gave birth to that child and that's it.

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 8:02 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Parenting is what comes AFTER you give birth.

    I agree that giving birth does not a mother make. I know a few of my girlfriends who have given birth, and are not around to parent their children- they've got others raising their kids. Does that make them mothers? H*ll no.

    Just because you give birth doesn't make you a mother. It just means you gave life. Its what you do AFTER that counts.

    Answer by .Peaches. at 8:20 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • So eating right, avoiding alcohol and chosing the best way to bring your child into the world is not parenting.
    I also think the whole incubator thing is insulting. I was never an incubator. I was a parent growing my daughter.

    Answer by funnygirlecu at 8:24 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

  • Actually I agree with the statement, giving birth does not make you a mother.. there are a lot of women that walk away from their children, and the child is raised by someone else.. you have to look at the bigger picture in most places. Most of the woman that don't want their babies to begin with don't eat right, some still drink and do drugs, etc. So there are a quite a few cases I could use that statement with. My cousin would be one. She did Cocaine while pregnant, and later gave her baby up for adoption. In that case, I can honestly say, giving birth does not make you a mother. HOWEVER.. there are a few times women have used that statement toward women that are truly trying to be the best parent they can. In those cases it is uncalled for.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:32 PM on Feb. 20, 2009

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