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12 yr old daughter being sneaky... help!

How do you stop a child from being sneaky? She's not really doing anything bad, it's just the way she does things that worries me. I was snopping on her laptop, which is in the kitchen, and found out that she sneaks online after everyone's asleep. I have ghost key logger installed on her laptop. I had to put that on her laptop because she would delete her history folder. I feared the worst, but she hasn't been or done anything online that she would need to hide. I also found out that she's been going outside around midnight to star watch. omg! I do understand life is a bit rough right now, her dad is on his third deployment. I just want to get control of this situation before she gets into some sort of trouble. Any advice greatly appreciated.

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Asked by MochaJo at 9:08 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (4)
  • Looks to me like she is just being a 12 yr. old. Wake up in the middle of the night when you know she is on and explain to her that she can't do it and if you catch her again that you will just take it away. As for the star-gazing... it sounds like that is just a way for her to get away and think. Maybe she is praying that her Dad is okay and things like that. I'd let her do it as long as she is not overly crabby in the morning.

    Answer by notjstanothrmom at 9:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I would confront her and let her know that it's okay for her to do those things as long as she is open about it. If she wants to go outside late at night (and you are ok with that) she should let you know before she leaves the house Also let her know that she doesn't have to hide what she is doing on the computar. Most kids hide things because they like the privacy not to be "sneeky" She isn't going to tell you everything and she shouldn't have to, I'm sure you didn't share everything with your parents. Just make sure she knows what needs to be shared and what is okay to keep private. I'm sure you did a good job raising her now its time to trust your parenting and your daughter (to an extent:))

    Answer by leah2113 at 9:23 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I agree with the answers above. My daughter is 13 and will be 14 in July and she is sneaky as hell also. She has a myspace page and she doesn't think I know that she has one and I have been trying to find a way to tell her that I know about the page without her thinking that I am snooping. I have had the talk about boys and all that and so she knows how I feel about the whole situation.
    BTW what kind of logger did you get and how much was it?

    Answer by Mz_Lady1978 at 3:52 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Let her know that she can always be honest with you and if she wants to do certain things to just ask first.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:26 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

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