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Son and bus issues

So this morning I was told by one of the other moms at the bus stop that her son has been getting off the bus sad and she finally got it out of him and that it's my son. Couldn't give me anything else when I asked Like what but apparently wants me to do something.

I plan on talking to him about the bus and what happens but I don't want to "lead" too much. Apart from asking about the bus ride and asking about some of the other kids along with other moms kid, I'm not sure if there is something else.

Other information that may factor in- both kids in question are in kindergarten

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Asked by Fairierose81 at 12:07 PM on Mar. 24, 2014 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 13 (1,103 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • To be honest, I'm always skeptical when people blame a kid but won't give details. I'd tell her you'd love to help, but you need some specifics first. You need to know what your son is supposedly doing so you can talk to him about it, otherwise you can't do much. If he's actually doing something to upset this other kid, I wouldn't count on him being honest and telling you on his own that he's doing it. But if you're able to tell him, "Well, I heard that you're giving him Wet Willies on the bus", then he'll know you already know so there's no point to lying.

    I would hold off on talking to him and try talking to her one more time. Tell her you need details on what your son is supposedly doing. If she refuses, then I'd be suspicious. I'd probably still talk to your son, but I'd keep it very light and more along the lines of "Stay away from Bobby" than any kind of punishment or lectures.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:21 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • If you talk to him I would make it broad in the manner of how was your day? If you need to talk to him more you have set the ground work.
    I agree with wendy that you would need more to go on.
    Maybe this kid did something and your son is being smart and not interacting with him. Maybe your son is popular and this boy wants to be too but is looking from the outside. Maybe he is mean and your son wants nothing to do with him. The kid can be sad (and it is good to feel all different emotions) but maybe he has to learn how to make himself happy.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:38 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • Could you talk to the bus driver for any additional information?

    Answer by momngram at 1:00 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • The most opportune time would be in the morning but all the kids would be there, otherwise not sure how to get a hold of the driver unless you call the bus people?

    Comment by Fairierose81 (original poster) at 1:06 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • My thought is just talk to your son about the bus, asking him to tell you about "what it's like" on the bus. What else would you do (with him) in response to that comment from a mom?
    You don't have a clear sense of the context. For example, it's possible that the comment was made to give the mom what she was looking for. Perhaps it solved his problem right then (was able to answer his mom's question) but doesn't carry much weight in terms of meaning. Possibly something happened that day which made your son stick in his mind, but even that doesn't imply an "issue."
    There are many possibilities.

    Why not show that you care by taking her seriously, while making sure that your response honors the boundaries that seem reasonable to you?
    For me that'd be engaging my child in an open-ended way & listening closely. And also communicating with the other boy's mom. I think it's possible to listen to her without taking on responsibility.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:36 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • Thanks for the quick responses.

    Comment by Fairierose81 (original poster) at 2:08 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

  • Maybe the teacher would have some information about how the boys interact in class.

    Answer by abecee at 8:01 PM on Mar. 24, 2014

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