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opinions about marriage and kids

I understand wanting to keep your child happy, but if you are in an unhappy marriage, should you stay with that person for the sake of the children? Or should you do what makes you happy? I think that if you are in an unhappy marriage, the kids will notice and then they will not be happy also. I just want to know other opinions on the matter.

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dmeh23

Asked by dmeh23 at 12:11 AM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • i agree with you. "staying for the kids" is usually not what is best for the kids. if both parents are happy the kids will also be happy. my parents stayed married for a long time "for our sake" it was hell. things were so much better when they divorced.
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I think it's better to divorce than to stay together just for the kids. Kids learn from us what a relationship is supposed to be like. Setting an example of how miserable you are in a marriage can only lead to problems for children. DH watched a lot of stuff with his parents unhappy marriage, and has told me if it came down to both of us being unhappy in our marriage, he would leave to save the kids from the kind of life he had.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 12:18 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • well it depends why your unhappy!
    i think if your like unhappy because you two just fight a lot then try your hardest to avoid and ignore him.
    BUT
    if your in pain, then leave him.. your child will eventually understand.
    thats a tough position.. it also depends on the childs age.
    oh and if they have siblings or not..

    but yeah.. hope i helped..

    ps. you shouldnt suffer with someone bad and the children shouldnt suffer either. so if hes not a bad guy and you two just dont get along, you two could take turns. like weekdays you keep him(them?) and weekends he can, or work it however to your schedule!

    :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I wouldn't stay in an unhappy marriage just for the children, because the children see their parents stress and some feel like its their fault.

    I actually left my unhappy marriage, I wanted more in life so I left! Then I CRAWLED back a year later in hopes that he would forgive me and he did! Now we are very happy togetherl So for us it just took a year long break to realize what we lost. We now are happy together and our children are happy:)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids is a HUGE mistake. Not only does it not make them happy...you're modeling something that they're more likely to repeat.

    Show them the kind of marriage you want THEM to have.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:59 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • There is more to life then fleeting happiness. If there was abuse yes I would leave, otherwise I would learn to be happy.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:04 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • kids are not happy if you are not happy. They sense your emotions and they internalize them plus they think your unhappiness is their fault. So if you want to leave to be happy then do so and they will share your happy times.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:54 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I agree. Like Dr. Phil said, kids would rather come from a broken home than be in one.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 3:49 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I agree. But it is important that you and your husband to remain friends. Some people just aren't meant to be married to each other. The kids will definatly know, they are smart little creatures. And they may feel at fault for your unhappiness.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 8:14 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Children can be happier when they have happier parents. I was in a terrible relationship and we were all miserable. Ended that marriage and now everyone is happier.
    Lovemybabies885

    Answer by Lovemybabies885 at 9:27 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

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