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why didnt I get ot hold my son first!

its been 3months and imstill livid about it I looked forward to being the first person to hold my son since he was conceived well there was this nurse who was being a stupid b*tch there to me my whole delivry and yelling at me (she has never had kids) well after 4 hours of pushing my beautiful baby was born .........the doctor hand MY baby to her and she walks off for over 10 minutes then gives him to my husband! im still mad

itore during delivry but I dont see how them sewing me up would effect whether i could hold him or not

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Asked by yoshiwife at 1:08 AM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (17)
  • Sweetie you gotta let the anger go. Its over and done with and their is nothing you can do about it now. My guess is now you hold him more than anyone ever has or every will right? Focus on that.
    The nurse and my husband held the baby first in my delivery too. I was honestly tired and knew my baby was in good hands so I didnt worry about it. The doc stitched me up while the baby was checked and husband got to hold the baby I had been carrying and had already gotten to know for 9 months.
    Cherish the moment and the fact that you had a man there to love your child.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:11 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I'm sorry. I have things about my birth that I'm not happy about, but we can't go back and change them now. We have to try and make peace with it and enjoy t for what it was... a wonderful and blessed day. :D

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I didn't get to hold any of my babies first... No worries though, you get them more than any one- and soon enough, you'll be paying people to take them for a little while. lol

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 1:15 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • the nurse and my hubby and my mom and dad and in-laws all saw the baby before i got to hold him

    Answer by CassCass at 1:16 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • My hubby held our baby before I did. I carried him for nine months and I knew I would have every chance in the world to hold him after the fact. Its not that big of a deal - you need to let go.

    Answer by aritoyh at 1:31 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • That is very sad. You can complain about it-- maybe there are already a few "strikes" and this will be the last strike to getting something changed around there...

    Unfortunately, really, it's the "system." You're on a conveyor belt and the moms come through the maternity assembly line. They see sooo many women and just run through the usual. It has a lot to do with how things work in that environment. :- (

    Answer by doulala at 1:31 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • You're right...the stiches shouldn't have mattered.

    There's nothing you can do about what happened and really no point in being angry over it. Instead...learn from it and do one of two things next time:

    1. Put "place baby on my chest IMMEDIATELY after delivery UNLESS THERE'S A MEDICAL EMERGENCY" into your birth pplan and make sure everyone who will participate in the birth sees it...


    2. Deliver the next one elsewhere. A home birth is most likely to get you the experience you want.

    I'm trying to remember when I got to hold my son...I don't at all. Nine years down the line, it makes little difference. **smile**

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:50 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I didn't even hold my daughter the first day. I was so out of it after 24 hours of active, horrid labor and then a c-section. Even when they pulled her out, they didn't even show her to me. After they cleaned her up, dh brought her over to me. The pps are right though, no one holds dd even 1/4 of the time that I do, not even her dad. SHE'S ALL MINE!!!! I love it!

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:08 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Well, if it makes you feel any better to think about, technically you wouldn't be the first person to hold you baby anyway if a doctor delivered her. My doctor told me that if a baby is born with no issues than they usually just put it on the mother's chest as soon as it comes out. I actually didn't want that. But my son ended up pooping in me so they had to take him and clean him up right away. Then they gave him to my husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Baby - get over it.


    It was 10 minutes of her life - and she doesn't remember it.

    Does your DH agree that the nurse was a loony? Maybe you could go together to complain about her.

    But you are the momma and DD knows it.

    Answer by Wimsey at 5:44 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

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