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unsupportive family

im 16 (making 17 in June) and im 4months pregnant, my family wants me to abort my baby but I do not agree and so does my boyfriend and his family. We were all upset cause we was very young and we still go to school, so my in-laws wanted us to take responsibility for own carelessness but we did how ever used a condom. I was trying to tell my mom long time ago but she didnt wanted to believe the fact that I was; and now that my parents know they told me they dont want nothing to do with me or the baby, my mom told me she's not carrying me for check ups, not supporting me and she's told me that she's not giving me at least the money for the care of the baby so im on my own; when she told me those words it hurt me with a passion that I dont even want her to hold my baby or see it when it comes. My in-laws whats to take me in and help support the baby till me and my boyfriend get what we have to get from school. so what should i do

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Asked by babykiss at 2:14 AM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Go get your phone book and look up "Abortion Alternatives." There are organizations to help moms just like you with pretty much anything they need.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:16 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Obviously if his parents are offering to help...might be best to move in with them. Also let your mother take it in I mean you are however very young to be having a child and she is prob just scared for you. If she does not come around that is her own fault. However if you are 100% against aborting this child remember that you will have to be a adult and raise your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • All I can ask you, "are you REALLY PREPARED?"

    Financially, emotionaly?
    Our niece gotpregnant at 16 and her mom didn't help and so for 2-3 years she's been struggling. AND She got pregnant again and had now didn't get to finish school so she can get a job to support her babies.

    I know aborting is scary and it's not for everyone, but is you don't want to abort, maybe give your baby up to a family member till you can finish school and have a future for your baby?
    Think of options, but make sure that you really think it through! It's not jsut about you now, it's about a living being GROWING INSIDE THAT you will have to care for the rest of his/her life or when he/she can take care of themselves..

    Answer by Adja70 at 2:29 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • yeah and once a parent sees your baby all feelings of resentment melt away! it takes time!

    Answer by Adja70 at 2:30 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I feel that 4 months is pretty far along in the pregnancy. I had sex at a young age too because I didn't get the guidance from my parents and the sex replaced the love I wanted my family to feel instead of my dad yelling at my mom. I had an abortion at 25 and sometimes think of what that baby would have been like. I have a wonderful husband now who is very supportive and so are his parents. We have 2 boys and a baby girl now. I would have struggled if I had the baby and would not have met my husband. It's a shame your parents are not supportive because I know you want them to be. Can you go to school (college) and have this baby. Think of your dreams and aspire to become someone. Do whatever you can to finish your education please! It will make you happy and your future children feel happy and secure.

    Answer by dakota09 at 2:45 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Ask a doctor or school counselor to have you meet other pregnant girls trying to finish school and what it was like for them. How did they get through it and do they have regrets. Listen to what they have to say and then decide if it works for you.

    Answer by dakota09 at 2:48 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • My son has a friend who is 18 and has a baby. She is a good mom but has to take him everywhere she goes. Its not easy, there are many many families who are praying for adoption, you might look into that. Cut your mom a break, she just sees what a huge mistake you are making and doesn't know how to deal with it. My sister adopted and her son is now 13. She sends the birthmom pics every year and keeps her updated. If it wasn't for the birthmom she would never have been able to have kids! She is very grateful to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I feel for you, I got pregnant at 17 years old. My mom took it hard- but she eventually came around. It was hard for everyone! I could not imagine if my mother had turned her back on me! She was my rock, that person that helped me through a very stressful, hormonal,wonderful,happiest, life changing/ time of my life! God it makes me want to cry, just thinking of that time in my life.
    My mother watched my son when I went to school -And I did graduate-with my 3 month old in the stands cheering me on! I did eventually marry his father and we are still together till this day- I would not change anything in my past- It has made me a better person and mother-I wish you luck and hope your mother comes around! Just give her some time to process this!

    Answer by Goldenbrowny at 10:02 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Get the help you need to have your baby... if you cannot care for your child, consider putting your child up for adoption.... but please do not allow anyone to pressure you into taking your child's life! This baby is your blood, your parent's grandchild... how any parent can tell their child to kill their grandchild is beyond me!

    Answer by naturescape at 11:02 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • If the only support you have at this point is your BF's family, I'd probably take it, even if temporarily. If you have decided to have your baby, you need positive people around you that will support your decision. Yes, your mom is scared for you, scared that you want to dump the baby on her, and she's just about done raising children as far as she sees it. Don't cut your mom off, she may come around, and you may want her with you, when she calms down. Once she sees you trying to be responsible, she will come around. Good luck to you.

    Note to mothers who don't want teen pregnant daughters, listen to this girl, "I tried to tell my mom....." Lack of birth control doesn't stop teens from sex!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:20 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

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