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would this be immature

I dont want to be aound my inlaws until they start respecting me. Meaning I dont want them to see my son. They are constanly putting me down, acting like they are the parents, butting into our fiances. What adult ask another couple how much they are getting in unemployment? so anyways the only way to avoid a "fight" or someone breaking down in tears I thought it would be better to email them how I feel. telling them until they respect me we will not be going up there. The last time we confronted them MIL breaks down in tears and plays viticm!! HELP

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • And that starts a whole other thing, too. Why don't you be the bigger person, if they want to see their grandson, they come to your home and then respect you in your home. Some in laws are just like this, there isn't anything you can do about them. If you can ignore their ignorance and shrug it off everyone will be better off. YOUR husband should help too.When you talk to them, talk nicely and be nice but in a way that they understand how you feel. You can tell someone to nicely to go to hell and they don't even know it.


    Answer by Kat122 at 10:56 AM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Maybe she's concerned because you have a child and are unemployed???

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Didn't you ask this yesterday?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I would have your DH talk to them. What does he think of this? If he's ok with them treaking yo ulike crap you may want to re-think some things. If he's with you then it's his job to talk to his parents. I have the same problem with my MIL. I finally told her hat if she wants to be in my childrens life that she will follow my rules in my house and that she will respect me or she will be told to leave and she won't be invited back.

    Answer by NoahsMomma418 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Well i think that is fine! i know i dont really care for my F-I-L girlfriend and i dont want to go there a lot, but my hubby says that we cant hold him for that! but anyways i would do it and tell her in the begining that you arent doing this by email because you dont want to do it their face, but it is easier for you to put your feelings on paper that way things are said that you would regret later. but i would make sure your hubby is ok with this! GL

    Answer by babymaddy at 1:38 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • If you stop them from seeing their grandchild you will end looking like the bad guy. Talk with your DH, tell him you are tired of his parent's intrusion (respectfully and with relevant facts). Then you and he decide what the boundaries should be and then set them with the in-laws. I think e-mailing them is a bad idea, it opens the door for all sorts of misunderstandings. And if you MIL/FIL are disrespectful don't wait, say "wow, that was uncalled for". Or if they ask money questions just say you don't feel comfortable discussing such matters. Or better yet, say "how much are you making..." Some parents never let their "children" go, they feel they have their best interests in mind and feel justified in asking personal questions. Set the boundaries and they will respect you. GL


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 1:38 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • didn't we just take the time to answer this question already? Just do it already and get on with life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I think it'd be easier and more beneficial to everyone involved if you just said "I'd rather not discuss our finances" when the subject is brought up. With-holding your child from them is cruel to both the child and the grandparent/s. How does your hubby feel about it? If a confrontation needs to be made, he's the one to do it because he'd be more sensitive than you because that's his Mom. Any subject you don't want to discuss just say "I know where this conversation will lead and I don't want to go there, so let's change the subject please" and move on to something else.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:14 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I agree with Kat122.

    Answer by rio_burb at 3:32 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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