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Has anyone ever called CPS on a friend? Tough one... oh, and long...

I hate going anonymous, but this is a touchy subject.. I am a semi-regular.

I'm concerned about my friend.. we've been close since middle school, but have recently started drifting apart. We're both in our 30's now.

She has two boys, from two different dads. She is going to marry the guy she had her last son with.

Problem is... the guy is a scumbag. I can't emphasize that enough. He's unemployed, sells drugs from their house which means he has people in and out of there day & night, plays video games all day, ignores her and the kids, and is completely arrogant. His shit apparently doesn't stink, and he will tell everyone all about it.

I'm worried about the kids with people going in and out of the place all hours of the day and night. They're always too broke to buy kids new clothes, or groceries, yet have money for silly luxuries like video game consoles and the latest cell phones (which they have to buy outright because their credit SUCKS)..

Last time I visited, there were dirty diapers on the floor, filth everywhere, a bong and weed shake all over the coffee table.... Come onnnn... She even made a comment how she cleaned up, I wonder what the place looked like before. Gross.

I love my friend.. any time I try to talk to her about anything, she goes completely into denial. She talks so proudly about her boyfriend, and how great her life is. I don't know what to do anymore. I care... about her, and the kids... but I see this getting so ugly if I just blow up and let everything out there, and nothing gets resolved.

Just considering calling CPS breaks my heart... but I don't know what other option there is. She lives 8 hours away now.. it's not like I can just go help her myself.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. This is SAD.. especially when the kids come last with all these wedding plans she's making in the middle of all this mess. Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on May. 9, 2014 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Do what you have to do for the kids.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:36 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • In situations like this, you do whatever you need to to protect the most vulnerable which are the kids in this scenario. Ask yourself; if these kids come to me in 20 years and ask me if I knew of their crappy home life, and if so why didn't I help them? What would you say? I didn't want to hurt your moms feelings? It's hard and unfortunately there isn't a perfect answer but kids living in a drug seller/abuser environment is the least acceptable answer. Gl

    Answer by Nimue930 at 2:49 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • You do what is best for the children. Call CPS and let them determine the next step. Good luck to you and your friend.

    Answer by momngram at 2:59 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • It sounds bad in that home for those kids. It sounds like someone needs to take some action. Calling CPS is going piss your friend off, but it might make things better for those kids and force your friend to be a bit less selfish.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 3:03 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • How sad. You have to do what is best for the kids.

    Answer by DJDNY at 3:05 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • You can call CPS and they will investigate. They are not allowed to say who turned them in. With you living 8 hours away I doubt if she would put you in the mix unless you report it the same day you visit. For the sake of the kids I'd report it. As it is if your friend is getting mixed up in drugs you're going to lose her and the drugs will become her best friend. Look out for the children first. Your friend is an adult. They need your protection.

    Answer by baconbits at 3:47 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • Oh and to answer your question.....I have. It ended with us getting permanent custody of our 2 grandsons. Dad is still in and out of jail several states away and she has since moved to Wyoming. You do what's best for the kids. The adults have made their own beds and can lay in it.

    Answer by baconbits at 3:51 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • I'd have called already. Twice. And probably slapped my friend upside the head too.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:23 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • Ive called cps on my bestie before....kinda the same situation her house is disgusting! She doesnt feed her kid even tho she has food in the house and locked her 2yr old in her room b she was "being annoying "b she was whining since she hadnt ate all day (that happened at 1pm)...just my experience with cps it was a total joke..but in your situation i wpukd call esp since drugs are involved

    Answer by rachel216 at 5:53 PM on May. 9, 2014

  • The kids have to come first. I had to call on my own cousin just this week so yeah it's hard and it sucks, but the children deserve to feel safe. If she can't do that, they need to go elsewhere. Love those children enough to get them the help they need and can't get on their own.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 2:44 PM on May. 10, 2014

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