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being a physician's fiance/wife

how do you deal with being a future wife of a physician who is a workaholic and only around 6 days a month.

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lily7

Asked by lily7 at 12:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (12)
  • I couldn't do it. I would have all the materialistic things I wanted and could ever hope for but I would not have my husband. And that is the most important thing of all...it's why we got married, right?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Ok, I have another way of looking at it. My husband is a truck driver(he enjoys it) and i support him 100%. I don't get to see him 6 days a month but if I could I would jump for joy. So, if your finacee is a doctor and works all but 6 days a month, why not make the best of those 6 days a month. If you love him enough to marry him and know that it may be only 6 days a month that you see him, make it good. You get busy also if you aren't. It will help. Keep busy.take the good with the bad, but, live everyday like its your last and enjoy it
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:17 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Go for it. These days it’s really important to be financially secure and I see you have 3 little one’s. Think of their future not just about you. And when you do make the commitment do not, do not complaint about his hours and be very supportive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • well im not a dr's wife, but my hubby is a workaholic too! He normally works 6 days a week and on the 7 he wants to be with us, yet do things he wants to also! its hard to deal with but i do it! if you love him you should be able to get through it. GL
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 1:35 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • how do you live with a person and not see him but six days a month? What's the point of the marriage if you have no time to build it? Sounds like he loves his job more than he does anything else. Not sure marriage is a good idea. What about you? What about your needs? You'd be like a single parent rearing the family. If he were a truck driver or military and gone all the time I see it but this is just crazy. I wouldn't commit to that. It's not even a real relationship. Or at least not a healthy one
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • My hubby drives/owns a semi, he's gone for 4 to 5 weeks at a time, when he's home its for a week to 10 days and when he's home he's always busy... He makes a list for himself while he's gone so he can get the jobs done and I am right beside him helping or just being with him when he's home.. I show my appreciation by supporting him, taking care of things while he's gone. He makes excellent money so in turn I can stay home with the kids.... I hate that he's gone but we make every minute count when he's home... Even sneaking off into the bedroom for a quickie during the day,lol I can't wait until next fall, our youngest will be in school and then when he's home we can run around naked all day if we want when the kiddies are gone, lololol........
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I am married to a surgeon, and in the beginning it wasn't easy! You have to have A LOT of patience and understanding. You need to remember that he is helping people and saving lives. The upside is you will have all of the material things you desire, so it's important (for your own sanity) to take advantage of hiring a "Mother's helper" to help with light chores around the house, and/or to watch your children for an hour or two when you have doctor's appointments, need to run errands, etc. since your husband will not likely be around!

    I think to keep the relationship "alive" you need to find a time EVERYDAY to chat on the phone--even for just a few minutes, even busy doctor's have office/paperwork time each day. And if he has scheduled days off, try and plan something as a family or just the two of you--dinner, theater, go to a hotel for the night (without the kids, of course), so you can maintain your connection! :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 2:06 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Also be sure to join some social groups--like a country club, the PTA or volunteer so that you don't feel isolated, and you can feel like you are a part of the community!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 2:10 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • 6 days a month? Is he living at the hospital/dr's office? I know hours are crazy, but a lot of dr's have a normal home life (even tho there are emergencies) Naturally with ob dr there's no time of day that you can guarantee someone isn't going in to labor. Either way... if you're not sure about it, then don't marry him. My brother drove a truck and was gone for weeks and his fiance was okay with it, they talked several times a day and on the days he got to come home they did things as a family and as a couple. He drives local now, but they lived like that for a few years. Maybe you could volunteer at the office/hospital so you can see him more and be doing something great at the same time? I don't know your hubby but I'm in awe of any person who gives so much of themselves to help others.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:10 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • If you cannot be alone, you do not need to marry him. I believe that professions such as military, doctor, fireman and police officer are more than just a career. They are a way of life that consume the people who work in those professions. I personally could deal with it because I am okay alone and I have a pretty busy life myself. If you are going to marry him knowing that you are just going to bitch and nag about it after you are married you are just going to make the both of you miserable. He and his career are a package deal. Once you say I do, you have no right to complain. So make sure you are ready to live that life.

    Magpie75

    Answer by Magpie75 at 5:39 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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