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How do you get used to seeing some girl around your kid?

I have 2 sons and their father ONLY has them on sundays while i work. occassionally he has a girl there that he screws. I HATE knowing she is there with my kids. It drives me crazy you have no idea. When he first started bringing her around he tried to hide it from me by telling my boys her name was JOHN so i wouldnt find out. but my 5 yr old isnt that dumb. he still tries to get back with me and i do love him even though i know it would never work. so it also hurts me at the same time, what do i do or how can i make this easier on myself?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • As long as she isn't hurting your kids there isn't anything you can do, he is allowed to have a girlfriend.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:29 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • if nothing inaproppriate going on in front of your boys then he should be free to do what he wants.

    momie_of_munch2

    Answer by momie_of_munch2 at 4:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I dont know I never got over it per say, I didnt care. I only care about if they are a good and decent influence on the kids, I think thats what matters most. The fact he hid it would concern me more, why hide it? I would tell him you arent comfortable with it until you meet her so you know shes not *hiding*. I mean if shes alright she should have no problem atleast meeting you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Honestly, do you still have feelings for him? it seems so, IDK but i doubt that there is anything you can do about that if the two of you are broken up. As long as the other person isnt acting inappropriate in front of your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • This is so hard. It has got to be one of the hardest parts of divorce or breaking up. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to not only have my husband move on and date someone else, but then to have to have my children around her!! You should seek help and support. There are lots and lots of divorced women who have had to go through the same thing. I wish I could help more, but my best advice is to find others who have dealt with the same problems.
    AnnaMac

    Answer by AnnaMac at 4:34 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • This situation stinks BUT, if it did not work out and you know it never would just train yourself to know you are soooo much better off without him and pity her for having to learn about him like you did the hard way! Be glad that they only have to be with them one day and IF he still tries to get back with you then she doesn't really have him anyway now does she and if she doesn't mind being used as a sperm dumpster more power to her! :) So smile your sweetest smile, look your best every Sunday you have to see THEM and let him eat his heart out and you can feel soooo good for rubbing his nose in what he had and lost! That has been so much easier for me to remain calm since my EX got married

    to a woman I despise for my own reasons lol! It actually is quite funny if you think about it! He wants you she wants him and you want a life LOL!
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 4:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • oh hell no,you don't get over it. I told my x that she may have gotten him but she's not getting my kids and he couldn't have them when she was there. I knew my kids would tell me if she was there so I got my way on that. She bought my kids clothes one time and I took scissors to them. I wasn't very mature at the time but they were my kids! I wasn't about to lose them too
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • You can go to court and get a clause added that says no overnights by anyone of the opposite sex if they arent related. That ends the problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • My son was 4 months old when my ex left us, and two months later he married another woman. My son is three now, and I am married to wonderful man, and pregnant with my third child. Honestly, I am just now to the point where it doesn't hurt, where she can come around and I don't get jealous. Right after I married my husband my son's father told me he wanted me back, that he still loved me and knew that he made a huge mistake, although I still loved him, I am glad I stay with my husband and didn't go back to him. I guess knowing I could have him if I wanted him, makes me feels a little better, but really the only way that it hurts less is with time. It took three years for me to stop srying about it, but trust me then more time take the better it gets. I know it hurts like hell now, but you will get through it.
    MamaZoe2005

    Answer by MamaZoe2005 at 5:55 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • look he is entitled to a life. best bet is to make friends with her enough so that you know you can trust her around your kids. you have a right to know what kind of people your kids are around.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 6:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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