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Is this wrong to you?

I was dating this guy for seven months and he tried asking me to be his girlfriend. Turns out my friend still saw him on pof so she messaged him to see if he was a skeze, turns out he said he can talk to her and that she's cute and until he finds out where him and I are going he can just talk to her.

I find this disgusting and if he were really serious about me he would delete his profile, and then if we didn't work then he can go back on there. So I ended things with him. Advice? what would you do? did I overreact?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:59 AM on Jun. 13, 2014 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Honestly, I could go either way here. If you two had not agreed to a committed relationship, then he is free to do what he wants, including keep a profile on a dating site. And if he asked you for a commitment and you haven't given him an answer, then he has a point that until you give him an answer, he's still free to talk to others.

    On the other hand, I can see that deleting his profile would be a sign of good faith, in a sense, to show you that he's serious about you.

    Regardless of which side I would fall on, though, I think if you're feeling like this about him before you even commit, it's probably best that you ended it. Whether your feelings of mistrust were justified or not, they would have only led to problems in the relationship if you'd committed and stayed.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:20 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • You don't want to be his girlfriend so what's the issue!?
    Seriously, if you don't want to be with him you don't really have the right to call him names.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 7:25 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • I personally think, you over commitment yet, no expectations.....

    Answer by older at 7:41 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • run, run like the wind. He doesn't sound like he is for you.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:56 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • run, run like the wind. He doesn't sound like he is for you.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:01 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • I don't see anything wrong with what he did. There was no commitment made between the two of you, so everyone is free as a bird to pursue other interests.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:06 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • But you see when we were dating two months we decided to be exclusive. I deleted my profile at that point, because I was only interested in him and he asked me to delete my profile. I asked him to delete his profile. he didn't.

    four month mark I asked him to be my boyfriend he said no that he wasn't ready so I agreed to give him more time. Still asked him to delete his profile.

    2 weeks ago at the 7 month mark he asked for the relationship and commitment. I told him I would be his gf if he deleted his profile and he said he will not. So How can I commit to someone who isn't into me?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:22 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • Nothing wrong. You overreacted.
    How does someone try to ask about being a girlfriend?

    Answer by iamanon at 8:22 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • On one hand, it was wrong of him to be talking to others. But on the other hand you were not in a committed relationship yet either. Guys see things differently then us women do.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:32 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

  • I don't understand how being boy/girlfriend is different than being exclusive. If there's an agreement that you are exclusive then to me you already are boy/ girlfriend. However even though you thought there was an exclusivity agreement, he evidently didn't by his response to the other girl.
    But I wouldn't date a guy who kept a profile on a dating site.

    Answer by missanc at 8:46 AM on Jun. 13, 2014

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