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17 month old not adjusting well to new baby

Please can anyone give me advice on how to help my little boy adjust to his new baby sister. My daughter was born on Valentines day, and my son's behaviors continue to get worse and worse each day. He bites me constantly, throws temper tantrums continuously, and isn't happy. Today he hasn't eaten anything, and I just don't know how to help him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My little man used to be so happy and wonderful, and now he is just so unhappy and it kills me to see him like this.

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Asked by jesscola at 5:25 PM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • all i can say is try to pay as much equal attention to him as you do to the new baby. i know that is probably impossible, but take the opportunites when the sister is napping to do something nice with him. my oldest was 11mths when her sister was born and she was a little moody for a while because mommy and daddy were giving attention to someone besides her. your son will get used to her after a while and accept that there are times when he just cant get what he wants. i know it's hard to try to make a 17mth old understand things (my oldest is now 18mths old), but he will calm down in about a month or 2. yeah, a month or 2. i remember going nuts the first few months with all the screaming, but you love them and as long as they are fed, clean, and healthy, dont think you are being a bad mom if you just have to "ignore" your 17mth old's requests.

    Answer by ashlyh123 at 5:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • My son was 5yrs old when my daughter was born and he was being mean and getting into trouble just the same. He was like doing weird things like peeing in his room and not listening. He knows better usually and was terrible for like a few weeks to a month. It all started when she was born too. He was fine when I was pregnant and then was bad. She is 15mths old now and he's 6 and he helps get her out of things and helps. It is also good he's in school now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • clone question.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • He's probably wanting to be the baby that he was to you, and now he feels replaced. Definitely do the things you used to do with him when she's asleep. Biting/tantrums are normal for a 17 month old w/o a new sibling on the scene. He's probably not too verbal yet & is expressing his fears & frustration. Yes, you won't be able to console him 24/7, but be patient and in time he'll adjust. And you probably will feel guilty when you can't tend to them both, but don't let it get you down. :) Remember, in 5 years they'll both be in school and you'll be home crying that you are alone. Just kidding, hang in there! You'll make it!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:18 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Make sure he feels needed. Big boy duties might help - especially because he needs to learn to protect his little sister someday. If he can just be mommy's little helper with the baby, you can ALL spend time together. He will still get his time with you, and learn to do new things. Good luck!

    Answer by mrsflum at 1:33 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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