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How can I stop thinking this way?

I have been thinking alot that my dh is cheating on me I'm really insecure I just had a baby too so it just made it wiser I know my dh loves me and in my heart but my mind won't stop thinking that Gris cheating and it's driving me crazy I just feel so depressed right now please help.

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Happy2bemom969

Asked by Happy2bemom969 at 9:40 PM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (12)
  • Aww sweetie I'm sorry. IDK if he is cheating or not, but I had thoughts of my hubby cheating too. I don't know if it's the hormones or the fact we aren't happy with our bodies at the time. I was so bad I would dream he was cheating and would wake up in tears. He would hold me and assure me nightly, then one day it was gone. I hope this is what is happening with you right now. It will get better, just give it some time.
    DazeDelights

    Answer by DazeDelights at 9:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I used to have weird obsessive thoughts that my boyfriend was cheating on me. Turns out he never did and doesn't want to...but I couldn't stop thinking that he did. I meditated on it over and over and distracted myself until I realized that if I had nothing to go on, there was no point in worrying needlessly over it. If you have no reason to worry (IE no suspicious behavior going on), then don't worry. If you can't stop no matter what, seek help. There's no point in worrying needlessly.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 9:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • I just had a hard life I was molested at a young age and I feel like I can't be strong without the love of a man and especially now that I'm a mother I'm worried he will end leaving me for thinking this way and being so insecure.
    Happy2bemom969

    Answer by Happy2bemom969 at 9:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • Your mind can be very powerful. You also have the power to choose your thoughts. I recommend the book "The battlefield of the mind" by Joyce Meyer. If you are a believer rebuke those in the name of Jesus and say GET behind me Satan. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!!!! Pray and read the bible. Good luck!
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 9:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • it sounds like you may have a little bit of PPD (its not always bad feelings about the baby, just feeling depressed and emotional in general). Plus, I don't know about you, but my body being different definitely made me feel self consious about how he was feeling about me. But, I guess that all depends on if you have a good reason to think he is cheating on you. If you don't have any reason to think that he is cheating but just can't shake that feeling, I would talk to you doctor and see if you may have PPD. If so, they can give you medicine and make you feel better. If you do have reasons to think he is cheating, talk to him. He will most likely reassure you that hes not.
    IlovemyNicholas

    Answer by IlovemyNicholas at 10:07 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • thank all of you I will talk to my doctor I can't stand it no more thank you ladys
    Happy2bemom969

    Answer by Happy2bemom969 at 10:18 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • hormones.
    is he lying, staying out later, missing money, not wanting to touch you? etc... then you have basis for doubt. if not, hormones.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 10:47 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

  • PPD and depression in general can do silly things to our minds. When our body changes and not always for the better we feel no man can love us the way we are because we don't love ourselves that way. I agree with speaking to your doctor. I would also consider counseling. You have been through a terrible thing in your life and that mistrust can be harmful. You need to learn to love yourself and know this man will not hurt you like you have been hurt before. There are groups for molestation survivors that can be really helpful. Most are incest groups (not sure what your situation is) so don't be turn away from then even when they say so. They are not just for incest. They are for molestation period. Our groups around here offer free babysitting and encourage spouses to attend because they are your main support. This will not last forever. You will get through this.
    mineralgirlzmom

    Answer by mineralgirlzmom at 2:32 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • i would definitely talk with a counselor, and bring your DH along. if he relents (as men sometimes do) tell him that its the only way for you to feel better, that his not coming will make you feel even more upset (because it will). explain, if you can, that your body has gone through a lot of changes that feel traumatizing, and you need his support to get through it, no matter what. if he isn't cheating, he probably cares enough about you that he will follow through, even if he doesn't enjoy it. i know my DH does whatever he can for me whenever i am in physical pain (PPD is physical, not just mental), I hope yours does too!
    chickenhobbit

    Answer by chickenhobbit at 3:53 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • counseling can do a world of good for you and your spouse, you get an opportunity to learn more about each other and grow closer in your relationship. i don't know about going to the doctor, i guess it depends on the severity of the condition. you'll be okay, we're all here to support you!
    chickenhobbit

    Answer by chickenhobbit at 3:55 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

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