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Why can't I stop nagging my husband about the little things ...... I love him so much

Husband and I are not getting along as well as we used to (before the baby came). We have been together for 5 years (dated for 3 years, married for the past 2 years). We have a 5 month old baby. We argue about everything... and I mean everything. It didn't used to be that way, but now that the baby has come in to our lives, we seem to be different people. We are becoming distant. We don't have time for each other anymore. Baby Peyton is SOOOO demanding ... he requires ALL of my attention ALL of the time. Husband seems to be envious that the baby gets all of the attention. When I ask for help (ask him to watch the baby so I can take a bath or something), Husband gets annoyed. Which leads me to nagging him. Sometimes it feels like we are not a team but like we are competing against each other (tit for tat type of thing). HELP!!!!!

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Asked by myqtpiepeyton at 2:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • I have the same thing ..
    Make a date night, I'm sure a family member will watch Peyton for a night or even an evening. Every parent needs a night to themselves. And don't think you guys don't deserve it, because you do. Me and my SO started a date night and it's the best thing for everyone. His family gets to spend time with Akasha (6 mos) and me and my SO get to have a quiet night just us two. We usually end up just watching a movie at home or having a bath together, but it helps that we do get some quiet time together. What about when Peyton sleeps? Maybe just enjoy a late supper just the two of you at home, or play a board game.

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 3:02 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • You've just descibed my life. I blame it on frustration. It's hard having a baby cuz it's not all about you and him anymore and all about the baby. I feel like I lost my best friend once we had our baby and I hate it. We're still working on it too but the best I can tell you is keep the communication lines open!! My husband and I argue all the time about everything but we always make it a point to talk through it once we've calmed down. Then we're good until the next argument lol. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • You need to remind your husband that you ARE a team--that Peyton is his child and he needs his father as much as he needs his mother. And if you don't get a little alone time, you are not going to be a happy or effective mom--ask him, does he really want that?!

    I would make a date with a girlfriend to meet for lunch and/or go window shopping for an afternoon, and have your husband deal with your son ALONE. He will likely gain a whole new level of appreciation for you! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 3:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • Lorikeet, thats just what i was going tosay..You guys have to be a team first. And like any team, practice makes a good game...i know how difficult it is to deal with the body changes, emotions, then baby, Then husband...Its a work out in itself..Dont expect the impossible out of him.
    coming from a former nagger,..once i tried talking to DH like my friend instead of ordering him around like a child, he like being around me more..Sometimes i do slip and demand him to take the trash out and stuff, but i quickly correct myself and say something like, "look at me trying to get all bossy", then i apoligize and tell him he can take it out when he has time ....10 out of 9 1/2 ...he will end up taking the trash out on the spot and not have any resentment towards me or smikry attitude after ..Babysteps...How our husbands act and treat us , is only what we allow. We are reflections of each other ..hope this helped..Congrats on baby :)

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 11:59 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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