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Disaplining my kids won't work help

no matter what i do as fare as disaplining my kids nothing works. I've taken things away from them. stood them in corners, busted there butt, but nothing works. Help my teenager acts like she is the boss and bosses her siblings around. The 8 year old acts like chores are going to kill her. And my 4 year old like to throw things, I put him in a corner and he'll get out, I strap him into his car set and then when i let him out he's back to throwing things. Know so you know my 4 year old has been diagnosted with seiger's so we have to watch what he is doing, His older sister's know this but they still play ruff with him. I just need some help with trying to get the older ones to listen to me and ways to disapline the 4 year old other then putting him in a corner. There are so many other things that i need help with so if you want to know more just send me a message and i'll be happy to let you know more. And thank you in advance

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mom_in_need75

Asked by mom_in_need75 at 8:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • Girl.. I feel your pain! My 4 year old is a nightmare! lol Nothing I do or say works. I almost lost my mind today. She throws stuff, says ugly words.. screams, runs from me. Spells drinks on purpose on her brother! I dont spank her but, i wanna knock her out sometimes!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • I would like to recomend the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk". Great book.
    but bascially you just need to sit down (start with the teenager) with you children. Explain that you want to know how she is feeling about the situation. After she has said her part BRIEFLY explain how you feel. Dont go into too much detail or she'll start roling her eyes and all that. Then tell her you want BOTH of you to come up with a solution. Write down ALL of her ideas as well as all of yours. After it seems like you've got a good list go through it and cross out what REALLY wont work. You might be surprised at your childrens ability to negotiate. You should be left with AT LEAST one possible solution. Tell her that you expect her to hold up to her end of the solution for as long as you hold up yours. ...like i said, do this with every child. Even the 4yo. i think you'll be surprised. Good luck!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:27 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • BUMP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • Check out the parenting books on www.cjkidz..com or use this link http://astore.amazon.com/wwwcjkidzcom-20?node=18&page=1.

    Also,
    take a break so you can have time to yourself and refresh (when we're worn out we don't have the strenght to deal with things they way we always should)

    Look your kids in the eyes when you talk to them (stop what you are doing to do this)

    Set rules and post them so they know what they can/cannot do

    Have consequences and follow through and stick to it...even if it kills you to do so.
    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 9:04 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • stick to what you say. NO threats! Dont discipline out of anger. A firm voice & a ticked off voice are very diffrent. Stick to 1 method for 30 days! Things will get harder with 1 discipline method before it gets better. Discipline may vary with each child. What cant your child stand? some kids may be more wanting of materialistic things so take away toys/computer/ect. Some dont want to miss activities so keep them from the playground, going out with friends. Some a spanking is what will keep them straight. study each child for this.... try getting the 5 languages of love for kids/teens
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • OH, bless your heart! I know where your coming from , I have an eleven year old that thinks she is the boss! She want listen to anyone at school, on the bus, or home. They have her in a program where a special teacher helps her. I hope at some point things will click and she will change her attitude. I'll pray for you and your kids. May God give you strength, love, and patience to raise these kids. God gave these children (gifts from heaven) because he knows you have the talents to give them what they need. God entrusted you with them to grow you and them to be All You Can Be! May God Bless You everyday and encourage you in some way.


    moms rock

    jlaney

    Answer by jlaney at 9:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • You need to go book of revelations on your older ones. Chores killing her...well until they are done in a timely manner without bitching then she gets nothing from you! Tell your teen it is not her job to parent the others it is yours. She needs to concentrate on keeping herself in line. She/he would be on total lock down until he/she towed the line as well. You are not their friend, friends they have ...they need a parent. Just really hold your ground. Don't give in because they will bitch and moan for a while. As for the throwing, take the toy for a week or so. Put him in time out and if he gets out don't say a word just put him back. Don't strap him down...that has CSB written all over it. It will be a battle of wills for awhile but he will stay once he realizes you mean business. I have 5 kids and I know it is rough...stick to your guns mama!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:07 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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