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Should I take this personal?

My son, who was adopted by my mom, comes out on spring break to see me for ten days @ spring break. My 17 yo sister who I was recently reunited with may be coming too, she wants to meet him. So my parents asked me to not have her come because it would take away from the visit with him. I'm taking it personal because they bend over backwards for him to be around my ex's fam,who hate me, and my other family members. It actually bothered me that they thought I would ignore him as close as we are. I just want him to meet his aunt. He doesn't know anyone from the other side of the fam. They said it would be neat for him, now that I make it happen they have a problem with it. The thing is no one actually asked my son what he thought. I think it's just them. She would only be there for three day's, my son will be here for ten. I thought I was thinking of him by introducing them. I'm not trying to take away anything at all.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i honestly dont think its because they want you not to have him be around her because it takes away from the visit between you two, it sounds like something deeper.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:01 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • Go with what your heart tells you they can't back down on something they had said it was alright and when it is actually gonna happen they say it is not a good idea.

    No do what you want I am sure you will make time for them both and this will be a perfect oppurtunity for them to meet. Just go for it. Next time don't say anything damn if you do and danm if you don't. We can't please everybody. GL

    And have a nice visit from them. good luck


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:05 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • Well, I don't know. I really want to tell you to have them both out and that it's your decision to make. But then again, as an adoptive mother I would be angry if someone went against my wishes for my child when I let my child visit them, even if that person was the birth mother. Your situation sounds different than a lot of other adoption situations though, since it was a relative adoption and you've remained a big part of your son's life. I guess I'm leaning towards saying that you should do what you think is best for your son ad whatever enhances your time together. If that means inviting your sister to meet him, then do it. It's your time with him and it would probably be a great experience for him to get to know another family member.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 7:59 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • It is annoying but they are his parents. If you go against what their wishes are then you risk not being able to see him at all. I would continue to be the one to bend over backwards so that I could continue my relationship with my child. When my child is an adult I trust that the time and energy I put in to nurturing our relationship will help create that steady foundation for a real parent-child relationship. But knowing that if I argue with his parents I could loose that then I wouldn't chance it. I can nurture my relationship with my sister at the same time, just not while they are together. At least not until my child is an adult. If that is how it has to be in order for me to maintain my foot in the door, annoying as it is, I would do it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • See I left some things out, she bends over backwards to let him see people that don't even care if they see him or not. She went as far as to have Thanxgiving with my exes family, who hate me. She didn't have a problem with him seeing my sister until it was really gonna happen. She didn't think it would. Yeah I probably will bend over and take it for his sake, but I still feel how I feel. I feel like she's being selfish and hiding behind the saying"I'm just doing whats best for him" but she moves her messed up friends into her house around him then calls me and complains how messed up they are so I'm not always sure she's thinking about him, more her own hurt feelings of whatever. I won't lose contact with her, I know her, that's not gonna happen, this is not a typical adoption arrangement, I'm not concerned about that. I'm more deeply hurt by her actions. No matter what she says, actions speak louder than words.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2009