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3 years long distance no progress!

I have been dating a man for almost 3 years and we live 600 miles a part. This is the first time either one of us have ever dated long distance. It has not been easy but we have been sticking it out. Now, we got into a really bad fight before Christmas and we broke up. He stated that once the new year came in he was going to change his number and cut people off. We spoke yesterday and he said he wanted us to get an understanding and that he want us to be friends. He also said that if I didn't want that he wasn't giving me his new number once he change it. I admit I was taken a back by him saying this to me. I told him no i do not want to be friends and hung up the phone. I am so hurt and hate to go into this new year dealing with a break-up. He has done this more than a few times. Break up with me after a fight and claim that I am too negative. I don't understand it.

Have you ever dated someone so far away for years? How do you cope with break-ups?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2015 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • 3 years long distance is not a relationship... it's a correspondence. Let it go and move on, find something else to keep yourself occupied with!!
    Ramble_on

    Answer by Ramble_on at 12:22 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • I've never been in a long distance relationship but break ups are difficult. Honestly if after 3yrs of dating and there was no serious commitment then it's probably best ya all move on. If your 21 or older have a glass of wine or whatever and do something for your self!
    rachel216

    Answer by rachel216 at 12:24 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • I have only been in one long distance relationship and it worked because we knew there would be an end to it. It lasted for a year, we'd already spent 5 years before that together and we are still together now. IT's my opinion that it can't work if it's indefinite. What would be the point?

    It sounds to me as if he wants to break up with you and this is a convenient excuse. Sorry.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 12:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • I am 25 and we did have a serious commitment. I was going to make the move to where he lives sometime this year. We visited each other a lot and the communication has been solid from day 1. I have never loved like I love him. He was the first guy I had relations with and we just lost touch when I moved south. We reconnected via FB in Jan of 2012. He said he was going to visit me and he did a 2 months later and we have been building a bond since. I guess it's just saddening to me to be in the third year of reconnecting and loving someone so much and they just want to call it quits or "be friends".....I don't understand these men. They have your heart and you have theirs but when we break-up they think we want to just "be friends?" Bullshit
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • He is not claiming to break up because of the distance. he is stating that I am just too much to deal with and that we aren't progressing in our relationship. It's not my fault though, it is his. He has baby mama drama and it interferes with what we have. As much as I don't want to let him go I know I have to. He is use to me always calling and crying and begging him not to walk away. I'm tired of doing that and I shouldn't have to
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:37 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • Be glad you are finished with this acquaintance. If he's done this more than a few times he was never in this relationship for the long term.  You are much better off getting out of this now.

    momngram

    Answer by momngram at 12:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • Think of it this way. You do not need that kind of drama in your life.
    This is not the first time he has broke up with you? Make it the last. You can do better.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • Yeah everybody is saying the same thing and I know it will probably be best in the long hall to just cut my losses now. It just hurts when you have invested years into a person and they just want to call it quits so easily. Time heals all but going through the emotions until that time passes really hurts. I promise I will not chase him this time. I will not make myself look desperate when I know I am a great woman and I deserve so much more.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • It sounds like it was 3 years of problems. Probably best to let go and start something new.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

  • If you have to cry and beg a man not to walk away you are only prolonging your agony. If he felt the way you do you would never have to cry or beg.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 12:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2015

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