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What do you think of this- DH's ex-GF?

My DH and I have been together for over 7 years, married for 3,with a 2 1/2 year old and another on the way.
He dated his ex-gf for 5 years, no commitment, no rings. She also happens to be the daughter of a family friend and a someone DH's father served with in 'Nam (but hasn't maintained a relationship with in the last 10-15 years).
She decided to move to a different state and tried to manipulate him into moving with her. He didn't and several months after she left, I met him ( since she still wanted to be in a relationship with him, considered it him cheating on her with me, even though the relationship was over).
A couple of years ago, she contacted me via Myspace and I was polite with her. She'd contact me at least once a month, if not more and would often tell me to tell DH "hi".
On top of that, every 3-6 months, message my DH. He never responded to her and generally act disgusted at the mention of her name.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Cont'd
    Her most recent message to him was about a week ago, and I preceived the message as her trying to dictate to him what he should do for a friends widow.
    Shortly after that, she deleted me from her Myspace and Facebook (my feelings are not hurt by it).
    My question is : Why would she try to keep in contact with me and occasionally my DH, esp. if my DH would never respond to her?
    BTW- they didn't have kids together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • because she has not let go of her past. Possibly a bit of a mental problem too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • It seems like you're thinking your husband might still talk to her. Maybe, but to be blunt the bitch just sounds crazy. If you have NO other reason to suspect he might still be involved with her than I'd tell her nicely to lay off. Or get a restraining order. Otherwise, I might have a talk with your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • OP here-
    Actually, I'm pretty sure (like 99.99%) that he doesn't and hasn't talked to her in 4 years ( the last time we saw her at his parents house, when we visited). She wasn't a very good gf and he was so glad when she left.
    She doesn't live anywhere near us, so I don't worry about that. It just seems funny to me that after over 7 years, he's moved on, has a family and is happy, she still tries to contact him and tried to stay in contact with me.
    She hasn't had any serious relationships since their split. She's been on dates, but that about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • can you spell P-S-Y-C-H-O?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • OP here-
    It is weird that she hasn't dated. She was constantly talking about how things would be once she got married, or what kind of guy she was looking for ( over 35, no kids, never married, fit and athletic, Christian). Or how she followed some guy around a grocery store and couldn't figure out why he didn't wave to her when she waved to him.
    Another thing is kinda weird, is she recently started "reconnecting" with people from the area we live in. I asked my DH about it and he said that she never went out while she lived here and only knew people she worked with.
    Right after she started "reconnecting" with the friends in this area, she deleted me from her myspace and facebook, but kept me on yahoo.messenger. BTW- she was the one that sought me out to add me to friends lists and what not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Why would you even bother to talk to her?? Thats stupid! Hey yeah I know you use to sleep with my husband- wanna be friends? Uhm, NO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • OP here-
    Honestly, knowing how she treated my DH, it was kind of nice to see what a train-wreck her life is. She would always complain about how bad everything always was and I would just "listen".
    It seemed strange to me that she hasn't progressed at all since her and DH's split. And how she blames him for her dreams not coming true. It was like watching a soap opera.
    I know that's horrible, but it's honestly why I allowed contact.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Havent you ever heard the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" By her keeping in touch with you she thinks she is being "sneaky" and keeping an eye on your husband and keeping the communication lines open. She also wants to throw you off, in thinking that she is your friend and that she doesn't want your husband.. don't fall for the crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Time for him to delete her off his page. I would cut ties with this fatal attraction. OP you sound like a nice person as well as your DH. I know you both care about her but she seriously is living in the past and is holding on to it how ever she can. IMO she put you on her contacts to get to your DH. I dunno she sounds like she is in need of help. I would let my DH know that you both need to stop the contact with her, family friend or not. Have him let his family know that the ex girlfriend is acting too clingy and it is not appropriate. And that he and you wish to not have any contact with her. YOU are his family too.

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:38 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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