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Do you talk about your & DH/SO arguements with your children?

My SS has an unbelievable knowledge of the fights his mom and her boyfriend have been having. He knows all sorts of details and says that his mother talks to him about it and tells him not to talk to SO when they are fighting. My husband and I are concerned, but she thinks it is completely normal to involve children into every emotional and mental aspect of a parental relationship. DH and I try very hard to limit our rare argumennts to the bedroom or wait until the kids are in bed. So I guess I am just wondering which would be more common? Do you feel it is appropriate to discuss things like this? Why or why not?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • In my opinion, children should see their parents or their authority figures within a home as a united front. When they are privvy to fights, especially at a young age when they may not understand the dynamic of an adult relationship or if it can any way be construed as their fault, it compromises that ideal. We also try to limit our serious discussions or arguments to our bedroom, or after the children are in bed. They also don't need to worry about the stability concerns that go along with parents fighting, at least I don't think so. So in short, I agree with you and your husband. I would have him try talking to her about it again. Perhaps consult a therapist to discuss potential complications of her openness so you have a professional standpoint to present. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I am in a giving mood tonight, sorry!

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • No, it's irresponsible. Fighting is adult crap and the emotional damage it does can take years to fix.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • my children are to young now but when they are, it is none of their business...besides though, DH and I don't fight really- very rarerly

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • Absolutely not. When we argue we take it away from the children. If it is about the children and we are arguing then we take it to another room, hash it out, then come to some sort of agreement. Then we tell the child or our children about what was discussed. They are teens now so I'm sure they can hear and understand many things on their own, plus, hubby and I try not to argue too much. We hash out our differences in private until we can come to a compromise.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 7:14 AM on Feb. 23, 2009