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How do I get him to stop drinking??

My husband. Drinks like on binges.. I want him to stop. I dont knwo what to do!! He isnt supposed to drink at all. It was almost 2 years and he slipped and its been off to the races since then.. How do I make him see that he is hurting me and our kids???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Talk to him. Sit down and tell him how you feel. Then let him tell you how he feels. Tell him you want this problem solved and write down ALL the possible solutions. His and yours. Then together go through and cross out the answers that wont work. Make sure that you explain to him that you expect him to hold up to his end for as long as you hold up yours.
    But in the end, remember that it is his choice and if he cares enough about you and the kids he will try his hardest to stop. Even if that means rehab 10 times.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • He has to want to quit first because you can't will
    people to do anything. You cannot will people into
    doing things. You can point out to him how he hurts you
    and everyone around him or threaten to leave him.
    Maybe bring him to an AA meeting. I wish you lots
    of luck and I hope that he changes.
    bronxcouture

    Answer by bronxcouture at 11:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • David Hasselhoff (? spelling) him. Record him when he is drunk.. Maybe if he sees what a fool he is when drunk. If he gets violent then leave!! My mom was abused and I still have mental scars from it. Good luck and may God be with you and yours!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • I took a video of him. and it made him stop for a bi but now hes back to it all over again!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

  • first of all he has to want to quit.
    the best route is to tell him "it's the drinking or the family, so pick one"..just be ready for him to pick drinking.
    you could also leave and tell him you won't come back until he goes into treatment.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:06 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • You can't.

    My brother was an alcoholic. The doctors told him it would kill him --- he still drank. His wife of 25+ yrs told him she'd leave him -- he still drank. She did end up leaving him eventually -- he swore he'd quit and get help to get her back --- all the while drinking more. My dad offered for him to move in with him a while --- get a fresh start, but he refused. (My dad was very clearn that he wouldn't tolerate him drinking in his home). He'd tell people he hadn't had a drink in "x" amount of time & hide his empty bottles all over.

    My 21 yr old nephew moved in with him to help out. He still drank. He got really bad & they couldn't do anything for him. He laid in a hospital bed in his living room for weeks. My 15 yr old niece got beat up for refusing sex --- he laid in bed dying instead of protecting his own child. We all just watched him lie there and die --- Good Friday, 2008.

    He was 49.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:09 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • You can't make him quit. Al-Anon meeting can be quite supportive for family and friends of non-sober alcoholics. He doesn't have to hit 'rock bottom' An intervention can create a 'bottom' for him. One thing...never participate in one unless you are willing to tough love it out. You may be enababling him and not even realize it. Al-Anon can help you see how that happens too. Love him, but refuse to love him to death.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:09 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • He has to want to stop before anything will work. Ask yourself, what is causing him to drink? Is he drinking because he is depressed, frustrated, or doesn't know how to handle something? If that is the case, counseling might be ideal. You can sit down with him and talk to him about how it is affecting your marriage and family. But like I said, he has to want to change before change will happen. It is hard. Maybe you can compromise with him? Let him drink on weekends, or when the kids are away? If he feels as if he is allowed to drink in modernation, maybe he is less likely to binge-drink? Or come to a deal where he can only bring limited amount of liquior into the house? Or see a counselor yourself about how to handle this.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 12:10 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Was he part of AA and does he have a sponsor?
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:11 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • To Laura, I am so sorry. It's true, he has to want to quit.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:20 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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