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Why am I so upset???

I lost my job about a month ago and my husband decided that maybe it would be for the best if i didn't go back to work, so i am a SAHM now and I thought that I would love it but my daughter is 2 1/2 and drives me crazy everyday. I get so frustrated and I am not motivated to do any cleaning or anything around the house. All I want is to be a good wife and mother but, I just feel like I am terrible at it, I asked my mom for advice and she told me that I "just don't have the personality to do it." If any one has had a hard time adjusting to being a SAHM or knows what I am going through I would love any advice you have to offer.

Thank You

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momofone072506

Asked by momofone072506 at 4:00 AM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (1,796 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • i feel yeah i am the same way every day i feel like im going crazy and feel so lazy. i cant get myself motived to do things around the house and sometimes feel so depressed. so i try to go out take my son to the park or the beach whatever i can do to keep myself busy and out of the house and i also try to do little things around the house like pick up things my son throws on the floor and laundry.
    mommyofone0724

    Answer by mommyofone0724 at 4:10 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Yeah, I'm pregnant with my first kid right now, and am not even considering trying the whole stay at home mom thing.. I can't stand to be a house wife.. so I don't think I can manage being a SAHM..
    Being happy is better for the child in my opinion.. then driving yourself crazy trying to stay home :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Your mom's opinion of you might be the problem. If she doesn't think you are capable - then why should you even try? Every wrong move would be proof that she is right. Does she really think "you don't have the personality" for doing it ...or doing it her way. Maybe she is afraid that you would succeed where she has failed. I'd tell her to go suck an egg.... Then go and enjoy your life on your own terms...whatever that might be.
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 4:43 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • my son is nine mos old right now and im JUST getting into a routine for everything. now i got it down and its a piece of cake. the only thing is YOU do need to get out of the house by yourself to enjoy yourself...im taking a painting class once a week at the local collage with a friend. so thats what i have to look forward to every week, my time, my break. just remember yourself.
    bennysmom519

    Answer by bennysmom519 at 5:19 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • When I was a sahm I didn't even have a car to get out, so I had to make staying home my job so that I didn't go crazy. Although other people thought I was a little crazy and nuerotic, we had fun. I created lesson plans and templates. I charted everything we did rite down to meal plans, to make sure we were staying healthy. I did a lot of messy projects like painting with our feet,because the clean up killed time too(plus, I would have to mop the floor then). I made videos of us playing together, we played dress up and tea party and I took pictures of everything. I read up on differant games and art projects to do (now a days you can google it). The baby book has every line filled out. I did not have any motivation to clean though. I don't know what to tell you there. These were the best times I ever had with my daughter and that was ten years ago. Now I work and my hubby stays home with our son and middle daughter.
    Fairytalemomof3

    Answer by Fairytalemomof3 at 5:26 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Some people thrive staying home,. and others thrive having a job outside of the home. It boils down to what is best for you individually. It's not good for you to be a SAHM if you hate it and resent it then it's going to affect your family.

    My mom loves being a SAHM. I on the other hand enjoy having a part time job to give me a little free time away from being the mom but not too much time away. You have to do what is best for you...and don't let anyone make you feel bad for your decision. Maybe your mom knows her daughter and is only saying that because she's trying to help you.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 6:02 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Just like starting any new job there is an adjustment period to staying at home. Most moms go through it when their babies are new borns and it is mixed in with postpartum emotions. Maybe you are just trying to be a SAHM as defined by some idea that you have in your head about what that means. Try making it your own. Get out of the house. Go do some activities, it doesn't really matter what. What is it that you enjoy doing? try to do it on a scale that is appropriate for your daughter. Take her to Starbucks and you get a coffee and she can get a chocolate milk then sit and drink your beverages together.

    Maybe you we're cut out to be an old fashioned stay at home mom. But I am sure you are a great mom and you can find a way that works for you. Don't get discouraged.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:05 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I got hurt at my job over 2 years ago...I haven't been back to work since. I was forced into being a SAHM because of my injury to my back. To go from working40-60 hrs a week to nothing almost killed me. I can only tell you it does get easier w/time. I force myself to be awake and dressed every day by 6am and then I just do what needs to be done while my DD is at school at all day. When it first happened I made my DD(then 4) and myself have a routine, breakfast, playtime, clean up time, lunch, learning time, start dinner, then after dinner walks or outside time. If not for a routine I think I would have went crazy! Now I'm pregnant again and stick w/a routine and I can't even imagine being back at work even if I was able to. You need to give it more time and try to get a routine going!
    sunnygal27

    Answer by sunnygal27 at 7:11 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • You can try getting up, and getting ready for the day just as you did when you worked outside of the home. Being a SAHM IS a job. You just haven't seen that yet. Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, and maybe you aren't. But maybe it will just take some time to adjust. As far as your kid driving you crazy every day, my 3 drive me crazy everyday. And I have always been a SAHM. So don't feel bad. Hey, there are many moms out there that can homeschool their kids. Could I? Heck no! I'm not cut out for that. I don't have the patience for it. As suggested before, make it your job. How ever you got through the day, planned out your tasks, do that at home. Make binders for things, like menus, schedules... Google Flylady. It's this support thing, my hubby printed it all out. It teaches you to organize your life/home. You may find it useful. It certainly wouldn't hurt.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 7:33 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • And try not to take what your mom said to heart, you'll get the hang of it. If nothing else, work towards proving her wrong!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 7:33 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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