Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dealing with children discontentment & comparison

My 5yrs old daughter came back from my neighbor (& friend)' home dissappointed. She said my friend' s daughter has nicer toys and dolls and she doesn't like her toys and dolls (barbies) anymore. Well my friends are in a better financial situtation than us, they own a construction business thus making a lot of money.

How would you help your child be content with what she has? How would you help to protect your kid from comparison? (well, adults struggle with this too, but I don't want my child to become an unhappy adult always looking around at what others have and feel pitty about herself.

Have you ever be in my situation and how did you deal with that?
thanks a lot

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on Feb. 23, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Do things with her that do not require much money. Make silly putty out of liquid starch and Elmer's glue, make paper mache out of newspaper. Show her how fun it is to hunt for treasures at garage sales and thrift stores. String beads to make bracelets...better yet show her how to use items in nature to make crafts. (I've made jewelry out of beans in lean times). Make a barbie townhouse out of cardboard and decorate with furniture made out of sticks and wallpaper with old clothing or paper scraps. Weave little rugs and baskets out of grass for her Barbies. The things she has will be unique...nobody will have them. She will have fun. Her friend will wish that she could spend time with her mom like your daughter does with you...and they will be even. And as a bonus, your daughter will learn to appreciate the value of things that don't cost money.

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 5:45 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I totally agree with Flymom. Teach her that it's not the material things that matter. She's too young to completely get it now, but as she gets older, teach her that just b/c someone has every material possession they could want, they still might not be happy. Her friend has all those toys, yes, but what does she not have? Does she not have her mom's attention? Does she have to play with them all by herself b/c mom or dad won't play with her? Or maybe she feels like she only has friends that want to play with her stuff, not her. That's something to teach your daughter as she gets old enough to get it: the trade off that can come with having material things.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:32 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • My thirteen year old daughter has lived with both myself and her dad. Her dad is military and has been since we were teenagers and makes a pretty good sum of money so they have the nice house and clothes and such that we don't always have here. We have family time and things that the other family does not though and I wouldn't trade it. She finds "stuff" very satisfying. I normally deal with her complaints here at the house by telling her that's not how things are here. I tell her even if we had the money we wouldn't buy a lot of the things that she's used to. We find more joy in going and doing things and spending time together as a family. It's hard when they are younger though cause they don't understand that concept very well. Just be understanding and let her know you hear her and that you love her. Normally that's all kids at her age need.

    Answer by yw8t4life at 11:29 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • My son has a toy store for a bedroom thanks to his wealthy grandparents. His friends have much less and he still thinks they have better stuff than him. They have different stuff so they see it as better. With my son we have put focus on the fact he is lucky to have what he has. We go to the homeless shelter on Saturday mornings to help feed breakfast. He has played with some of the homeless children and has realized he has it good. Even boxed up toys he loves to give to the shelter for the kids. He has helped me wash and pack up his old clothes to take there and has spent his own money to buy a little boy birthday gifts. My son is so busy now caring about others he forgets what he doesn't have and has learned to appreciate what he does have. He said he would rather be rich in love than money.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • wow, thank you to all for your great advices!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Feb. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.