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Is this abuse?

We have been married for a few years and over time our fights have escalated. My husband has pushed me a few times but not every time we argue. Last night, it got to the point where he was so mad, he came over to me and physically held me down and was in my face. I told him repeatedly that he was hurting me and to get away from me. He wouldn't and this only continued. He told me that the only reason it hurt was because I was fighting him and he would ignore my attempts to get away. Finally I fought him off off me and went to the bedroom.

From there he went into the room and started arguing with me some more and telling me everything that is wrong in our relationship is because of me. I feel so beat down and defeated and if I left, I don't know what to do, I've been a SAHM for years. What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • yea I would have been gone the first time he pushed me

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:39 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • You should definitely think about counseling! That is definitely abuse and you shouldn't have to live through that. He needs anger management counseling and you both need marriage counseling. If you disagrees you should get out until he will do it! This is only the beginning and it can and most likely will get worse. I'm sorry you're going through this!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Yes, this is clearly abuse. You should contact a battered women's organization in your area for advice and support.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:40 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Yep its abuse. Anytime someone lays a finger on your in anger its abuse. You need to see if theres anyway you can get him into domestic violence classes, and yourself into counseling, perhaps couples counseling if you plan to stay. If he still shows no improvement then you are going to have to leave.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:41 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Ofcourse it is abuse. This is a horrible example for your children to see and hear. My dad abused my mother for all the years I was growing up. Please seek help. Get out, so your a sahm now you need to do what is best for yourself and your children. You need to put all of you in a positive environment. Your DH will only get worse.

    Answer by Dannee at 9:42 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • There are all kinds of abuses--verbal, emotional, mental, and physical. Anytime someone is demeaning towards you, makes you feel inferior, outright blames you for things beyond your control--that would be considered abuse!

    If you are not happy with how you are treated, you CAN leave!  Call a women's shelter--they will tell you what to do and to proceed.  They will support you, help you find a job, and get on your own two feet.  EVERYONE has marketble skills, it just may take a little introspection and confidence for you to realize you ARE worth something and you DO have skills and talents that WILL benefit someone else.

    Everyone deserves to live happily ever after!



    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:42 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • First of all, yes this is abuse. Not just physical but mental too. I have been there and let me tell you from experience it gets worse. You should see that and before you know it he will hit you or he will hurt you. Get out now instead of waiting. You will find a way to make it. Don't live like this just b/c you think you can't do better without him. He is not good enough for you. Get out and make yourself happy!!!!

    Answer by momwifelove at 9:49 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • How do I get out? I don't even know the first step in what to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • When your husband goes to work, look in your phone book yellow or Government Blue pages for your local women's shelter. Explain your situation to them, tell them you are ready to leave. They will walk you through the next steps.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:57 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Abuse and leave him, he deserves to do for himself what you have done for him for years. Good luck and be safe.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:12 AM on Feb. 23, 2009

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