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how to trust him again?

my husband has been sneaking around seeing an old girlfriend. they both claim that it's just a friendship but then why sneak around if thats all it is. regardless if they slept together or not, i just want to get past this. it's been a stressful year, he deployed, while he was gone i had our second, when he came back we just didn't reconnect. anyway, hubby and i agreed to just move on, leave this in the past. but i'm having a hard time, i'm checking up on him and i feel like second best. i really love my husband and i don't want to leave him but i can't feel like this anymore. how do i trust him and how do i move on?

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Asked by girlie2 at 12:51 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • My husband also did this to me last year. I am not able to trust him anymore and marraige counseling is not helping. So we may be getting seperated. However I wish you better luck then I had.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Been there done that. I still find myself curious and checking up on my husband. It's a natural feeling that may never leave. My husband never cheated technically, but he inappropriate conversations with another woman. He begged me not to leave and swore it would never happen again. I told him I would give him another chance. I told him the doubt would be with me for awhile though. So, whenever it starts to creep up I grabbed his phone and look through it. I'm pleased to report he's been true to his word. My trust has come back and we are much better now. You are just going to have talk to him and let him know that your hurt and the trust is gone. If he truly loves you he will do everything in his power to get the trust back. I hope this helps some. Good luck, I know how hard it is!

    Answer by sidzwif at 12:57 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Define sneaking around. Was she just writing him as a friend supporting another friend while he was deployed and protecting our country? Did they say or do anything inappropriate? I'm not understanding, does move on mean you two are splitting and moving on or does it mean you've accepted their friendship and you are moving past these accusations?

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:55 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • they were emailing and texting, and once he was back, he would tell me that he was working late and go over to her place. hubby and i decided to move on together without their friendship.

    Answer by girlie2 at 3:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • personally I think you are in the wrong for making a grown man give up a friend bc of your insecurities. That's just petty and selfish. The man is living one day to the next putting his life on the line and you want to dwell on something as insignificant as him having a friend. I live in a military community and we had a soldier from our base die the other day over there. I'm sure the last thing on his mind was his WIFE NOT his friend. No one can make you feel second best except yourself. I hope you are happy with yourself. I can see why you two didn't reconnect when he came home. You sound like a spoiled and demanding brat who thinks only of herself. That's just sad. He probably re-upped on purpose.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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