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Should I stay or leave?

I met my husband online & we have been together for 4 years & married for 2 1/2 years. 3 months before we got married I found out I was pregnant. A few days after that I found out that he had made a new dating profile online. I confronted him about it & he denied it until I threatened to leave him. I forgave him & gave him another chance. Well a couple months after we got married he left his email pulled up on the computer & I saw something that caught my eye & I got to looking and it turns out that the day AFTER we got married he made another dating profile. Once again I confronted him & he denied it until I threatened to leave again.

A couple weeks after I had our daughter he got a couple of text messages at 3 in the morning so I looked at his phone to make sure it wasn't some kind of emergency & he had gotten a couple of pics from some girl. He had met this girl in a chatroom & had been texting her for a couple weeks now. By this time I had, had enough. I told him I was packing our stuff & me & my 2 girls were leaving. Well he cried & begged me to stay so I did. I honestly think a lot of the reason I stayed was because I was a stay at home mom with 2 kids, didn't have a job or anything. Well I made him delete that email in front of me & he made a new one that I have the password to. He hasn't done anything since then that I am aware of. Yes I know I'm probably stupid for giving him multiple chances but I was trying to do what was best for my girls.

He used to work out of town 2 weeks on & 2 weeks off. In July of last year he took a new job and now he's home every night. For the past 9 months or so we have been arguing all the time(usually about stupid petty stuff). EVERY little thing he does now annoys me, like drives me insane. I don't want him touching me anymore. I get almost disgusted every single time he tries to initiate sex. He is lucky to get it once every 2 weeks. Sometimes even longer. He has been going out of town a little more the past couple of months & I'm almost excited he's leaving. I'm not ready for him to come back home yet. We haven't had a night out in about 9 months or so. I'm not sure if we just need some time alone or what. I'm still a Stay at home mom but after the 1st of the year I'm getting a job. I'm starting to think I may be falling out of love with him. Has anyone ever dealt with this? What did you do? Could all the lying about dating sites & other girls just now be making me feel this way?

Answer Question

Asked by Amber319 at 5:30 PM on Dec. 2, 2015 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think marriage counseling might be the only way to save the marriage. It would take a lot of time & effort on his part to rebuild your trust. It's good that you are getting a job. You need to have an exit strategy just in case it doesn't work out. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:40 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • GO. You have given him too many chances. He's just going to get sneakier to cheat

    Answer by Matka_Kinder at 6:04 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • Cheating is a deal breaker. He has absolutely no respect for you. It's time to move on.

    Answer by Spare.Time at 6:24 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • Cheating is a deal breaker for me. Move on

    Answer by DJDNY at 6:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • Make sure you get a job first. Set up some savings. Research daycare costs in your area. Have a support system. Once you know you can stand on your own than leave.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:47 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • What as best for your girls was to dump him the FIRST time. Although I know that means the second would never have been born. Yes, you should go. And I think it should be RIGHT NOW. Tonight. Yeah, I know it will be hard. Teach your daughters: Never stay trapped in a marriage just because you're a SAHM. WORST reason to stay in what's been a bad marriage since before you took the vows. HE LIED WHEN HE MARRIED YOU.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:04 PM on Dec. 2, 2015

  • Definitely prepare yourself to leave. Staying in a bad relationship is not doing best by your kids. It will teach them cheating or being treated badly is acceptable and normal.

    He broke your trust multiple times, and don't be surprised if he is cheating while out of town. He's a proven liar. He knows with some tears and begging, you'll keep taking him back, so why change?

    Good luck to you and take care of yourself and kids. You owe him nothing.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2015

  • Consult a lawyer and get your ducks in a row, and leave him.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:39 AM on Dec. 5, 2015

  • All I got is this

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2015

  • If it were me I would have left him after the first time he was caught lying and cheating. My 'advice' is this- start putting money aside in your own account, gather up all of your and kids important papers, find a job, find a place to live, and contact a lawyer to find out what your rights are. After you have everything in place then let him know it is over and you are leaving him for good. I wish you luck

    Answer by MizLee at 11:05 AM on Dec. 11, 2015

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