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suggestions from moms who've been through this please

I need suggestions my daughter is in the fifth grade and a boy was teasing her and grabbed her leg and pulled her down to the ground and started hitting her this is what my daughter told me and a few girls who witnessed it. Other kids that she says tease her all the time are against her and lieing about everything saying that she hit him repeatedly and this is what the principle is telling me,my daughter is in tears and swears that she hit him once,now the problem is the kid was wearing braces and I know he was hurt just dont know how bad. The principle wants to talk to her and the boy who who started it,i said as long as I'm there I'm good for that and she is gonna see if the other parent can come. Its an ugly mess I'e taught my kids to defend myself against school bullies,they shouldnt take a beating period,I haven't contacted the school board about this yet,what should I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Ugh, what a mess. No advice, just sympathy. Good luck, let us know how things go.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I think I woul believe your child or at least try and talk to the principal, the boys mother and your daughter as well as witnesses.. and try to talk about what is going on.. even if she did hit or what have you hat is no reason for him to hit her and pull her dress down..

    Answer by mom2haybubnkay at 2:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • yes, definitely believe your with parents, principal, witnesses, and get a straight answer. those are two different stories, not just a variation. no matter what happened, stand by your daughter, you really don't want to alienate her at this age....and don't be sorry that you taught your kids to defend themselves.. let us know how things go

    Answer by at 2:29 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Wow what a hot mess. I would be sure to put your foot down and stand up for your daughter. She should have never been put in that situation. I mean after all she is in fifth grade...where was the teacher for Pete's sake. I would be fuming! Try to talk with the other mother if possible, this has to be worked out. Just remember that no matter how hot you get you have to be your child's best advocate which would mean not getting into any trouble your self while you are there. (That would be the toughest part for me- I have a mouth on me and boy I can use it!) Good luck!

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I personally would wait to see what the principal says, but this is a clear case of "he said/she said", which means you will never know for sure who did what.  So as an unbiased person here, I would say that BOTH children should be treated equally.  Either they are both punished or neither of them are.


    Answer by beeky at 2:37 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I have four kids and twoof them have came up against this type of thing. The oldest was in 4th grade when he and another boy got in a fight in the gym. This version from my son, the gym teacher, and the classroom teacher all the same. My son was 1st (important) in line to go back to class from gym class and noticed basketballs out of the rack and went to pick them up and put them away. The boy behind him got in his place and would not let him back in 1st place. Ds pushed his way back in place other kid swung and hit our boy, turned into hitting match in line. Got worse and ds got other boy and started punching. Both teachers angry; where were they when this started? Both boys angry, and school principal angry. One boy got 3 day out of school, other boy off scott free because his head had a bump. I felt both boys were out of control and fighting and both deserved the same out of school punishment. Principal's thought was

    Answer by higherboundmom at 2:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • other boy lost the fight so he did not need to be punished. Ds lost his temper so he did need to be punished because being 1st in line was not important. Two teachers and himself plus two little boys all lost temper only one punished.????
    2nd time dd got kicked in knee at recess playing soccer, no big deal that happens, except she is complaining it really hurts. Gym class comes they run the mile, she is an athlete and usually comes in top 3, she comes in 2nd to last so has to run again crying and limping, school does not call me! Took her to orthepedic surgeon, does x-rays and her growth plate in knee is broke! Put on crutches for 6 weeks. With son waited till grading period is up and homeschooled him thru highschool, he is doing fine with GED and working. Dd is sr. in highschool now, with her I confronted principal and gym teacher (different principal same gym teacher) and they did not seem to want to listen so I kept

    Answer by higherboundmom at 2:55 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I will let you guys know what happens,a friend told me that their should've been a teacher or aide close by watching and,that what the principle is doing is trying to pinpoint it back on my daughter.
    The boy had no right teasing and hitting my daughter,and further more my daughter had a right to stand up for herself, and said she should be allowed to go to school and that I can make a big stink and go to the papers if I wanted about the neglect on school playgrounds and how bullies are getting away with everything... I of course wont go that far but I sure will make a mention of it since the principle wants to make a stink about my daughter..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • talking started soft and kept getting louder and louder until they were listening, explaining that if that sort of thing had happened at home family services would have been called on us and that anytime anything happened to a child of mine I had better receive a phone call or police and family services would receive a phone call from me. Once the tears started(mine) I walked out and the principal--get this-- called my husband and told him I was in yelling at him!!! Dh just busted out laughing and told him he would try to keep his wife from yelling at him as long as he managed to keep our kids safe.
    Very long I am sorry for that but you need to protect your daughter by whatever means it takes and the school needs to protect her also. Stand by your daughter, she admitted to the hitting, my gut tells me in that, she is telling the truth. The same punishment should be handed out to both kids and the bulling should be stopped.

    Answer by higherboundmom at 3:11 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • My son hasn't been through this but I have been when I was in junior high. I was being picked on and these girls were trying to turn it around on me. They made up all kinds of horrible lies and thought all of this was entertaining. They even physically attacked me a few times. My mother was in every meeting I had with the principals. She wanted to know what was being said because the principal was taking the other girls' sides. I think you need to be involved in everything. Take one step at a time. Talk to the principal. If that doesn't go well, then go up to the superintendent. But just take one step at a time. Kids this age do this kind of thing and you can't really get away from it. Sadly, you just have to learn to deal with it. Trust your daughter and stand by her side, she needs you to fight for her!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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