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Explaining modesty

Trying to explain to my 9yo daughter about modesty. We shouldn't wear clothing too tight, see through. Too short.. She is not trying to wear these clothes to be sexy or revealing. She's just comfortable & when I try to explain we don't need to show too much she just says "I don't care" .. She hadn't hit the point of sexuality so how can I explain modesty to her without using religion or sex. Or atleast without ruining her innocence, lol.
(And yes we have talked about sex, bad touching, whatever.)

Just to put some context.. My 24yo nephew is staying with us, and my daughter came out today in a thin undershirt that was tight & sleeping shorts that have not properly fit her for about 2yrs... When I told her she was being too revealing she was like "mom but I'm comfortable, I don't care" (not disrespectfully, but an aww man tone)


Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Dec. 26, 2015 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Time for a clothes clean out and shopping spree. Go thru it together. If it's to small tell her sorry it's got to go. Same with holey, stained, etc. Then with a set budget in mind go on that mother daughter shopping spree. Remind her that some things can be bought slightly larger as she is growing quickly in to a young lady. (PJ's, coats, etc) But other things need to fit without being skin tight.

    Answer by baconbits at 11:45 AM on Dec. 28, 2015

  • As I see it, the concept of bodily modesty really does revolve around sexuality. The only modesty I've ever cared about was the kind that keeps one from putting themselves above others.

    Only suggestion I can make is a great closet cleanout; donate the stuff that doesn't fit her and give her new stuff in her size. That's what my mom used to do. Lots of stuff is on markdown now.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:04 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • I agree get rid of the stuff that does not fit and take her to pick out some comfy clothes.

    Answer by DJDNY at 2:18 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • my daughter came out today in a thin undershirt that was tight & sleeping shorts that have not properly fit her for about 2yrs...

    sounds like she needs new clothes.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:52 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • Buy her clothes that fit. Stop making it sexual in YOUR mind... as she certainly is not!! Don't make your hang ups into hers!! She will become more modest as her body starts to change. Trust me... once that happens you'll wish you had your "i'm comfortable" little girl back!!

    Answer by Ramble_on at 8:04 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • I'd just say, "honey that doesn't fit anymore, and you need to change."

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 10:40 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • It shouldn't be her choice what she wears. Not totally. You go to the store with her and tell her NO for everything you do not think is right wear. You buy the cloths, she doesn't. You need to shut it down now. Before she gets to old.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:31 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • Sounds like you need to go threw her cloths and discarding somethings. And put your food down. PUT A ROBE ON.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:36 PM on Dec. 26, 2015

  • She'll be just as comfortable in some new PJ's with long pants and a t-shirt.

    Answer by PGA at 11:56 AM on Dec. 27, 2015