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Should I be hurt, weirded out..what?!!!

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on our bed folding laundry and my husband came to see what I was doing. He said " I love you," I said, "I love you too" and then puckered my lips to get a kiss. No kiss, instead he walked off and then turned back to me and said" I think I am gonna quit telling you I love you, it just doesn't feel the same anymore." My jaw just hung open. What??? I asked him about it later and he said it just isn't the same. This morning he's acting all lovey dovey and will not for the life of him tell me he loves me, even after being hurt and I snuggled up with him before work and told him I love HIM. Did he fall on his head? What is up with this odd behaviour? What kind of spouse says he is NOT going to say I love you anymore? I asked him if he still loved me and said....."Yeh, I'm just not gonna say it." This is one of those things that makes a woman feel like she is nothing. Help! :(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • some men prefer to show it instead of saying it. Words can sometimes be hollow so maybe he wants to prove his love to you so you know he means it

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Is a little odd that it came about like that. Maybe the way you said "I love you too" was emotionless? Men are so hard to figure out. I'd just leave it be and if he starts acting strange then I'd be getting concerned. Sounds like he was trying to pick a fight to me or maybe he wants you to work harder for his endearing words? I'd just tell my hubby after thinking about it, it doesn't feel the same for me either, so I'm not saying it either. Words are words... anyone can say they love you but it takes someone that really does to show it.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:08 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I personally would be like fine if it dont feel the same leave. I mean seriously I am not the kind to grovel and beg for 3 words...Sorry, either you feel it or you dont...and to just all of a sudden not want to say it makes me think that maybe someone has a guilty conscience.

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 3:15 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • wow that is odd. I'd be upset too. . .he should tell you he loves you. . .its crazy not to IMO

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 3:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • maybe he is cheating

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Well, tell him it feels the same to YOU, and he should stop being selfish. That is strange, I'd sure as hell be hurt.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 4:50 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I would come straight out and tell him that refusing to say I love you hurts you and that you are confused and crushed that he no longer feels the same. If it was me I would tell him that if he won't say it then he doesn't feel it and if he doesn't feel it then we're done. Sometimes guys don't understand how much of an impact those words have.

    Answer by Arismama05 at 4:53 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Yes it is strange. I'd have been terribly hurt. Tell him that you are hurt and confused. Ask him to explain his feelings or reasoning in this. Tell him that loving a person doesn't need words, true, but that you like hearing them. Ask him if he would like the two of you to get counseling. Ask him if something is wrong with the marriage or at work. Perhaps it would make a difference if you made sure that he knows that you don't take him for granted. Be sure to greet him when he comes in the door. Fix meals he likes, and so forth.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:57 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • i think i would be hurt too but as it is i don't care either way if my husband says it or not but i guess that is cause he always tells me. if he stopped and said it like your husband did then i would be confused and want him to continue. i would just ask him to clarify what he means by what he said. maybe he is feeling like i do like it's just hollow cause he says it all the time and you don't respond but with i love you too which in turn could come out hollow cause it's been thrown around so much. thats what i tell my husband but i have come to appreciate he tells me every second cause if he stopped i wouldn't know how to deal with it. good luck

    Answer by melody77 at 5:51 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • in fact since i just say thats nice when he says i love you we have now come to the point of saying to each other i hate you in a joking way of course. example he says i love you" i say thats nice" he says i take it back i hate you and then i say i hate you to. or he just says i hate when i say thats nice. i'm sure your husband still loves you.

    Answer by melody77 at 5:54 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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