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Would he rather have sex with porn???

Okay I know that is a weird title but hear me out. My husband knows I hate porn(He knew that when we met) It makes me feel self conscious (sp?) So I try to compromise by lettting him pick out sexy things for me to wear and I try to keep things lively in the bedroom. It makes him happy and I feel sexy. Well...lately, he has not been so interested in me. I jumped in the shower with him the other day and he got out....okay, bummer. Then the other day I went to pay bills online and saw that he had been on not just a porn site, but a very raunchy one. Here lately I cannot get him off if my life depended on it (sorry if tmi) So...back to my question. Would he rather get himself off with some nasty IMAGE instead of the real thing with me. I am feeling like all my sexual efforts are for nothing. I know I sound like a baby but it really makes me feel ugly knowing he is looking & getting off elsewhere.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Do you really know hez getting off else where??? Or is he just looking??? This is a tough one girl... I would say bring it up, all this worrying and hurting your doing isnt good for ya...
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 3:22 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I know just what you're going through. My husband and I did nearly the same thing a few months back. I'm not that against porn but he still knows that it upsets me when he'll get in front of the computer instead of asking me if i'm in the mood. I mean... its not like he's not horny -- cuz he IS getting off.
    My suggestion is to ask him if there is something about the porn he watches that he wishes you two could do. I'm not saying you have to do whatever it is that he is into but maybe just being able to be open and talk about his sexual fantasies would be enough for him.
    I hope this helps!! Good Luck!!
    GA_GiRL0920

    Answer by GA_GiRL0920 at 3:23 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • MEN...UGGG!!! Thank God mine hates porn. I feel sorry for you and I have been done that way by an ex. Really makes you feel yuky. I know. You don't know what to do to make him more interested and let me tell you this, it can be very addicting - the porn thing. I hope he realizes what he has in you before it's too late. I wish I could help but not sure what to tell you except to talk to him about it.
    HUGS
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 3:24 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I'm sorry he is doing that. . .i feel the same way you do about porn (get ready for people to tell you its fine get over it. . .ignore that you know how you feel about it & its fine. Not everyone has to be ok with porn). . .have you talked to him about it?
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 3:31 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • For some, looking at porn is as normal as brushing your teeth everyday...but as you know, if you're man is refusing intimate encounters with you, something else is going on...I'm not saying he's physically cheating on you but I am saying that something doesn't sound right...it's time that you sit your man down and discuss your concerns in a way that he'll understand you, open up to you and tell you exactly what's on his mind...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:58 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like his facination with porn could lead to an addiction.. Time to have a serious talk with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • It could lead to an addiction. Is he stressed more then normal lately? It could be that he needs that release, but doesn't want to have to take care of you as well. It's a bit selfish, but it's not as bad as him getting off, and you getting nothing. I don't mind porn, unless he hides it. And he knows it. (He tried to hide once, I caught him, I humiliated him. He won't do it again.) If you broach the subject in an understanding way, without trying to 'fix' things, he should have an easier time talking with you. I know for me, I can bully my hubby into talking to me. It's good that you get lots of advice here, then you can decide what advice would work better for YOU and HIM. But I'd say to start off with stress, if that's not it, then go on to more things, like probing for sighns it may be an addiction. But I'm sure it's not you that is the problem. Men get stressed, and can't deal like women can. You have to be gentle with it,
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 4:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • and not judgmental. Which will be hard. I wish you luck!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 4:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Ok I know im not you but if i was i would have the divorce papers out already. Try getting him some counseling.
    melissam21

    Answer by melissam21 at 4:52 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Sounds like he is addicted to it. Have you tried talking to him and letting him know how you feel?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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