Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Things he's done...

Engaged in a sexual conversation with another girl over a couple month period via FB. Said it was joke. Divulged intimate details about us.

Joined a swinging date site. His excuse was that his friend owned it. (this might be true, but I'm still not okay with it). I am no prude either. We both have worked for a adult entertainment company in broadcasting (not in making movies). But he has got autographs from some porn stars...

Lost his job due to drinking and missing work.

Responded to a mutual friends pic on FB "looking hawt" and then said he didn't mean anything, and that spelling it hawt instead of hot is joking, yet he's used that same sp w/me.

Opened up a CC and ran it up while we are broke and I have been struggling to pay for everything with scholarships, work, and loans.

Bitched to his friends about me (a very common occurrence) about me spending our tax money (I paid off our bills) and having to pay for lunch once (I have paid for lunch/dinner/outings more times than I can count).

Used our tax money to go out of town with a friend for a weekend without consulting me. Leaving me at 8mo preg and trying to paint the house. (project had already been started).

When we do go out, it's assumed that I will pay.

My cat just died. I had been out of town for a conference. The next day was easter, so his body lay around. He has yet to ask me about what I did with him or how I am.

I am graduating on May 14th and he hasn't even asked about when the ceremony will be even though I have mentioned it. Plus I just got excepted into graduate school. No celebration, card, or much congrats on his part.

Overcharged our bank account(s) by buying booze causing us hundreds in fees. That was the first few years of out marriage. I will not share an account with him again.

So far we've purchased two cars together (first to build credit), and he calls it his car, yet, I pay the loan and ins on it. Last car cost us 1380 in repairs and he said he'd help me pay for it. I've only received $200 from him. That was a year ago.

Refused to take a bus to work when we were down to the one car, yet he was okay with me catching one.

He refuses to get our eldest son up and take him to his bus stop stating that he needs to be responsible. Our son is 14, but he's been saying this for the last 3-4 years.
Instead he let's me get up at 6am knowing that I go to bed at 1 or 2 most nights because I am up working or doing HW.

He's never taken me anywhere nice or planned anything special for me. Perkins is the best I have gotten. Yet I have taken him on vacation, out to steakhouses for his bday, etc... his excuse is that he doesn't plan anything. (he's right he doesn't, but it still sucks).

He bad mouths other woman (usually his friends wives/GF) or just women in general.
He blames any and all of my behavior on being that time of the month or me being crazy, even though it happens after he's does something. Even when I tell him what he's done.

I could go on and I want to, because I want to divorce him asap. I am waiting until I can afford to move out. i.e. when I am done with school and can get a better job.

I am at a loss right now and i am carrying so much hate, frustration, disappointment, and resentment, that I know it's making me unhealthy. I can only imagine what my kids are going through. I have tried to get on housing assistance but his income has to be included which pushes us over and we don't make that much together. Imagine what I have been going through trying to make ends meet. He pays two bills which took me years to get him to commit to: the electric and water. We don't pay rent because it's his mothers house. We're supposed to be but, I simply can't with him not working with me on a budget.

He refuses to go over anything, and when he does sit down with me, he is useless. Like doing our taxes. He let's me do it knowing how frustrated I get (mostly because I have no time being a full time working mother and student).

I'm at the point where I am about to give up on everything. Or just go crazy. Maybe both.

Good things he does: (cause there are and I like to see the bright side)
He rubs my back from time to time.
He tells me once in awhile that I look pretty or that I'm sexy or beautiful.
He usually asks me how my day was.
He loves his kids.
He's good to his mother and sisters.
He is considerate to others like people at stores, our neighbors, etc.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Apr. 1, 2016 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • After reading this I'm crazy. 😉
    I hope you make it out alive. Hugs
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:47 PM on Apr. 1, 2016

  • If he lost his job, how does his income make it so that you make too much to qualify.
    Did he own the home before you were married?
    If not you do not necessarily have to move. He may have to move. See a lawyer before you do anything like that.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:59 PM on Apr. 1, 2016

  • Sounds like you've been living the life of a single mom already, but he's the most rude, dishonest & expensive "child" you have. I don't think I could endure another second living w/ someone like that. I'd be getting a lawyer and booting his ass out. Maybe his mom or his sister will put up w/ him. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:43 AM on Apr. 2, 2016

  • Time to put an end to his childish behavior and tell him to move out. GL
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 8:15 AM on Apr. 2, 2016

  • Why do you keep this guy around? He's a man child.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:29 PM on Apr. 2, 2016

  • I stopped about 1/3 of the way through. Why are you with this man?
    RoboBuddy

    Answer by RoboBuddy at 2:21 PM on Apr. 2, 2016

  • You have far more patience than I do. I'm sorry, OP, that really sucks. I hope you are able to get out with your sanity intact.
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 7:59 PM on Apr. 2, 2016

  • Unfortunately, I have to be the one to move, and I don't wan to live here anyway. His mom still owns it, he's on the lease and on the ins policy. I'm not on anything. He lost his good job about five years ago and has since had a few others that don't pay nearly half of what he was making. Not like it helps regardless. Yes, a lawyer is needed, but first I have to be able to afford to live on my own, and a lawyer. Rent is way too expensive out here. A one bedroom is more than I make in a month. But that will shortly change, cause like I said I'll be graduating. I just needed to vent. I just wanted to start a running list so I can get it off my chest and also to quantify it since he likes to tell me I keep score. IDK... I might just have to take a risk and use loans to move... IDK if I can make it another year. But I don't want to go through a divorce while I'm trying to finish school either... kind of hard either way.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:31 AM on Apr. 3, 2016

  • RUN.
    PGA

    Answer by PGA at 9:21 AM on Apr. 3, 2016

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Is this normal?

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
Maybe baby adult content