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Shared parenting .. how to cope with it

hello ladies... i have a question... i am a new at this whole shared parenting thing... i do not know how to cope with it. it has my nervus all messed up .. me and my ex husband are doing week to week.. and my question is how do i cope with only seeing the kids every other week.. when i have had full custody since 2010 .. everything is going to change to me.. i just dont know how to do this.. and i dont really have much support system with my family.. so if you ladies could give me some advice or suggestion or maybe u are going through it to and could give me some pointers .. i would be greatful .. thank you so much

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Asked by 07armywife at 11:09 PM on Apr. 3, 2016 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'm not sure where to direct you, but I can empathize with you. Although I have not shared the same experience, my children did go to their dad's for the weekend. Having the kids alternate weekly is going to be tough on everyone involved. It's very confusing to the child and how can they be comfortable in a home? Is there anything you can do to change this situation?

    For support... if you cannot find anything in your area, this might be something you yourself can start... maybe put together a daily or weekly support group for others in your predicament.    


    Answer by m-avi at 11:42 PM on Apr. 3, 2016

  • Only thing I can say is try to enjoy your weeks away from the kids. Not many parents get that choice.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:56 AM on Apr. 4, 2016

  • If you have full custody why are they going there for a week? Does he live close by? How old are the kids? It's hard to give advice not knowing the whole situation.

    Answer by DJDNY at 9:15 AM on Apr. 4, 2016

  • i had full custody but he wanted more time with the kids so he took me back to court for shared parenting .. and yes he lives 5-10 min away... my kids are 10 n 5

    Comment by 07armywife (original poster) at 9:40 AM on Apr. 4, 2016

  • I guess you can keep yourself busy with work, friends, volunteering. Soon they will grow up and you will even have less time with them during your week.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:43 AM on Apr. 4, 2016

  • It is all new right now, but you will adjust even though it might be difficult.. Give it time. Take an exercise class or something similar that you have wanted to do for a long time. Find things to do like spring cleaning, sorting out closets that have not been touched in months, shredding files that are no longer needed, taking care of little things around the house, etc, etc. Be thankful you two live so close to each other.

    Answer by silverthreads at 10:51 AM on Apr. 4, 2016

  • Would your ex be open to a dinner date with the kids on the other parent's week? Like on his week, you see the kids for dinner and return the favor on your week? Make it the same day every week as well as a regular phone call and a surprise call. Take advantage of every online tool that your kids school system provides like automated school email updates, parent grade portals, school blogs, anything online where you can keep up with attendance, grades, and upcoming assignments. Do you and your ex get along ok?

    Answer by HHx5 at 10:54 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • im sure he is willing to let me see the kids for a lil while just like im willing to let him see the kids when i have them .. but this being the first week i dont want to cheat him out of it.. and him and his wife will let know when there are sports or school things i can come to just as i will let them know ..and we have a moment ... where we dont get along..but for the most part we do... but when we talked about this shared parenting that he made it clear that there might be weeks that he has them i cant see them cause they may have plans.. but we are willing to work with each other.. so we can co parent better and even his wife is willing to work with me ...

    Comment by 07armywife (original poster) at 9:14 AM on Apr. 6, 2016

  • My ex and I switched up the kids every Friday. So every Friday I was either happy or at home crying my eyes out. I would cry all the way home after dropping them off. I think I exhausted myself and eventually it got easier. I agreed to it though because I thought it was fair for the kids. I actually regretted agreeing to it but couldn't afford to go back to court. I got through by working more hours when they weren't with me, getting extra cleaning done, planning special activities for when they came back. i kept a journal too. It helped me put things in perspective that I had trouble with. I also spent time with family and friends.

    Answer by HHx5 at 12:57 PM on Apr. 6, 2016

  • when my kids left for school i cried .. it hurt letting them go.. i couldnt imagin not tucking them in at night or waking up to them in the morning.. but my friends and my aunt (on my father side) said they would come and hangout with me during the week my ex has the kids to make the week go faster.. but not all the time is someone going to come over and hang out or whatever . they have life too.. it will just take time to get use to week to week..

    Comment by 07armywife (original poster) at 10:31 PM on Apr. 6, 2016

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