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Friendship is confusing! adult content

So I had a BFF4EVA years ago. I became depressed, and she told me I was a pos and left me. Haven't heard from her for 6 years. Out of the blue she contacts my hubby to ask him to tell me to call or text her she wants to talk. I blocked her on fb so that's why she contacted him. Well she wanted to apologize, ok this is great. She recognizes now that I was depressed and she could have actually been a friend for me instead of doing what she did. I told her we could be friends again if she wanted and she hopped on the nope train to fuckthatville. What gives? Why contact me YEARS later to apologize if nothing was going to come out of it other than her self feeling better for having apologized?

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pinkahboo

Asked by pinkahboo at 7:10 PM on Apr. 5, 2016 in Relationships

Level 7 (172 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Wait... she apologized because she realized she handled it poorly - and that was wrong?? Do you really want to pick right up with someone who can't deal with what you are dealing with, or can't support you? Be glad she thought enough of you to "man up" and admit she was wrong. Not everyone can do that.
    Ramble_on

    Answer by Ramble_on at 7:19 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • No I get that. She wasn't wrong for apologizing, but why did she contact me if she didn't want to contact me. Her words not mine.
    pinkahboo

    Comment by pinkahboo (original poster) at 7:26 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • She finally got the courage to contact you. She felt she should apologize. Nothing wrong with that. She may have been feeling badly for a long time. And she has moved on, as she probably assumed you have. She was simply apologizing with no expectation of rekindling a friendship. I have one relationship like this.....if the person were to call and apologize I would say thanks, but would not have any expectation beyond that. I have moved on and she obviously has as well.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:58 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • I get what you are saying. I would be the same way. Leave it the way it was. Don't apologize and make me think we are going to be friends again. Tell your Dh to not tell you next time she calls keep her blocked.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:02 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • Don't worry about it. Make other friends.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • I wasn't worried about it, I had moved on. I have other friends. I hear what is being said. Only two seems to understand that an old healed wound was slashed open again. If she wanted nothing more than her own feelings to be better then she's being wrong. mho
    pinkahboo

    Comment by pinkahboo (original poster) at 9:56 PM on Apr. 5, 2016

  • Wow can you say awkward?! She would've been better off sending you an apology letter or card and leaving it at that. Esp. if she had no intention of renewing the friendship. Hopefully you have made a new BFF since then and have moved on.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:48 AM on Apr. 6, 2016

  • I agree that sending you an apology letter or card would probably have been the best way to go. I totally understand "that an old healed wound was slashed open again". I assume she felt you deserved an apology, so she may not have done this only to help her own feelings.  Think of it that way....... she felt you deserved the apology.

    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:26 AM on Apr. 6, 2016

  • She doesn't sound like a true friend. It is sad. She should just have let things go.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:20 AM on Apr. 6, 2016

  • This is not confusing at all.

    I had a classmate contact me, maybe twenty years after the fact for something he did that he felt hurt me. It was supposed to.
    I had more or less forgotten about it, I mean it was 8th grade!
    He told me he didn't realize at the time how much it might have hurt me (inside). He intended to cause me pain and he was a shit for that. He had no excuse other than being young and stupid and self important. He apologized.
    I was startled just to hear from him. I asked him, if this was some sort of a program and did he need me to do something to help him. (alcoholics and drug addicts sometimes do a program to face what they have done and who they have hurt)
    Nope, he was just thinking about "stuff" and that incident popped into his mind and he just felt that he owed me an apology.
    I told him thank you and that it was forgiven and forgotten long ago. That was it.
    There has been a lot of talk about
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:54 AM on Apr. 6, 2016

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