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How do you know if something has happened to your child?

Recently, I have found my daughter playing "doctor" with other children including my son. I know this is normal behavior, but it is happening alot more frequently than it should be. We have had numerous discussions about inappropriate touching and who is allowed (or not allowed) to touch when and where, showers and potty time etc. Last night, I found her doing it again. She is 5 so I know she understand what I am telling her, but it doesn't seem to be sinking in.

This is leaving me wondering if something has happened to her. I know when I was a child, I was introduced to sexually oriented stuff really early and I acted out like this. How in the world do I find out if something has happened that I don't know about? I recently had the doctor check her vaginal area because she complains of occasional itching and burning and she saw nothing out of the ordinary so I don't believe it's anything like that.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • Also, I made it very clear to her last night how serious this is and that if she needs to tell me anything, that she can and that she won't get in trouble. I also reiterated how much we love her. What else can/should I do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • We went through this and I don't think anything happened to my child I think it was curiosity, but I was so worried about it too. I just required them to play with the door open and I listened from around the corner and keep the lines of communication open.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you've done what you can. Just let her know that you will listen to whatever she has to say but that she can no long use her brother the way she has been.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 3:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I think that you are doing all the right things. But you also have to remember that as children .. they are very curious. I remember being that way too, when I was in early grammar school.
    I think what helped me most when I was little was my mother sitting me down with a medical book (she was in nursing school at the time) and showing me the things that I was curious about. Yeah... it might have been done at a young age but she never tried to tell me that it was nasty or gross or wrong. She simply told me that they were someone elses privates and that until I was a grown up I wasn't allowed to touch someone there and no one except for Mommy or Daddy and for a good reason. ((like you said showering or potty time))
    I dont know if that might help you or not. But I doubt that anything has "happened" to her. But at the same time... I can't blame you for wondering.
    GA_GiRL0920

    Answer by GA_GiRL0920 at 3:40 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • I agree. If she is this curious, then she deserves some answers. There are good books out there; I found one I felt comfortable with at a Christian Book store. It explained where babies come from, how they grow, and how they get out of mommy. It helped my little ones when I was expecting, but it also provided some info about privates and sex in a way that was honest, yet kid-friendly.
    3gymnastsmom

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 6:28 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

  • Well for starters, she is probably developing sexual feelings and has learned that by touching herself she gets pleasure. She probably doesn't understand this. That could explain the itching and irritation though. I doubt she has been molested, but better safe then sorry. I would be having some heart to heart talks with her and explaining things.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:55 AM on Feb. 24, 2009

  • I remember being about 5 and not understanding why my little brother had different privates. I thought boys and girls just dressed/hair differently.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:20 PM on Feb. 24, 2009

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