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Would you deny your grandchild going over because he/she misbehaves?

My mother tells my 5 year old she doesn't want him over there because he behaves. She also doesn't discipline him-- at all.

I work, go to school, and have him all week, getting him ready for school, cooking, spending time with him, etc. Im so tired by the weekend and just need a BREAK! His dad is in and out of his life so I don't even bother with that jerk anymore.

How do I handle this situation? I just need help with him. Im tired. Im so tired. :( I have absolutely no one else but my mother... Today she said she would get him, its 3:00pm and instead she's on Facebook. I undserstand hes a handful, but I tell her all the time to put a end to his misbehaving ways, she just refuses because she feels bad.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Apr. 23, 2016 in General Parenting

Answers (22)
  • Tired or not, you need to parent YOUR CHILD. She's done her child raising, why does she have to start over again because you're "too tired".

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:26 PM on Apr. 23, 2016

  • This is so sad for your child. He needs rules and structure. All children do. She is doing herself and him a huge disservice by not having structure in her home. And you need structure and rules in your home as well. You both should read some parenting books from the library or take some parenting classes. It will be difficult to transition to more structured environment, but it would be worth it in the end. I think I would look for some guidance from counselors, books, etc if it got to the stage where my grandchild's behavior was uncontrollable. I have not been faced with that because rules have been set up from the beginning for what is and is not allowed here and in their own home. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2016

  • You need to set the rules for him and she needs to follow through. Ultimately it is your job not hers.

    Answer by DJDNY at 8:58 PM on Apr. 23, 2016

  • Did you really just say you "have him all week"?? Oh boohoo! He's YOUR kid... how else did you think this was going to go! There is no break from parenting. It's not your mother responsibility.

    Answer by Ramble_on at 12:26 AM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • For the mothers saying "oh he's your kid" blah blah...So you guys never asked for help or needed it? Not being rude. Just curious!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:15 AM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • Having a grandchild over is supposed to be a pleasure for the grandma. She has raised her children. If a child is so out of control that the grandma feels uncomfortable, then another solution may be necessary. How about offering to pay her, and also showing her what you do to have the child behave. If it just won't work out, then consider hiring someone or putting the child in some kind of day care.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:10 AM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • Your child is mainly your responsibility. However, your mother was wrong to promise a pick up time and to not show up.

    Answer by RoboBuddy at 10:58 AM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • Are you expecting her to relieve you every weekend? If so, that may be expecting too much. Going to Grandma's house is supposed to be fun for both she & your son, not full of tension. Sounds like she is caught between wanting to be G-ma and having to be part-time mom. Since this seems to be more than she can handle, how about alternating play dates/ sleepovers w/ his friends?  Is he involved with any sports or activities that could build friendships and help run off some of that 5 y/o energy?


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • Yes, I've asked for help. NOT every weekend though, and not with the whiny tone I'm perceiving in this post.

    "I work, go to school, and have him all week"
    "I'm so tired by the weekend and just need a BREAK!"
    "I just need help with him. I'm tired. I'm so tired."
    Welcome to adulthood. This is completely normal, especially if you're a single parent.
    "I tell her all the time to put a end to his misbehaving ways, she just refuses because she feels bad."
    Why should SHE have to put a stop to it. He's YOUR child. YOU fix his behavior.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:57 PM on Apr. 24, 2016

  • Your mother does not HAVE TO take her GRANDCHILD on the weekends. This is your child. Deal with not getting any alone time. Welcome to mother hood. No rest, no relaxation. And you have only one!? And you are tired and need weekends off. HAHAHAHA!!!!

    Answer by louise2 at 3:34 PM on Apr. 24, 2016

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