Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dumped out of the blue

We dated 2 weeks (before i moved). I moved far but he insisted we'd make it work. Everything was perfect right up until the text of death. Even that same morning i woke to a loving text about how he was mine and vice versa. I was too stunned to really dig for an explanation so i just blocked him. Now i'm baffled but absolutely have no intention of contacting him. Just curious for insight.
I told him "don't ever contact me again" he said "it's for the best". what the hell.
Maybe advice from your hubbies? He was younger than me, still in school, no car, no job, but seemingly completely into me. We talked constantly. I even bought him a plane ticket for the holidays that I am now out $500 for. We last 5 weeks total even though he promised forever.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Oct. 23, 2016 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Found someone else. That is all. He is young. Shocked he lasted that long. Just chalk it up to experience. And move on.
    Not all guys are like that.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 23, 2016

  • It's probably hard right now, but try to consider it a favor he has done you. It would have been worse for him to drag things out, get a free trip and then break it off after that.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:47 PM on Oct. 23, 2016

  • i know and i try to think of those positives. it's just really hard because we spoke so much that it's like a huge part of my world is gone. I wish i had asked him for a good explanation - i feel sad and can't stop thinking of him. We both had hundreds of pics of eachother we'd send eachother daily. We both had a folder on our phones just for pics of the other. he told me he thought of me from the time he woke until he went to bed and every minute in between (or somehting like that). I'm just confused and saddened.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:22 PM on Oct. 23, 2016

  • Try to let go of the desire to hear him tell you 'why'. In the grand scheme of things, why doesn't matter anymore. It would be giving him the chance to blame you for his decision and that won't help you heal. I'm sure it's hard to be thankful right now, but just remember that he is showing you who he is. Learn from this and one day when you are on the other side of this you may just see this as a blessing in disguise.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:42 AM on Oct. 24, 2016

  • It is so difficult to get over it when you think you have a mutual strong emotional attachment. I have come to think that just being able to talk for a long time doesn't make for a relationship. It may make for a friendship, but that's it. I am sorry you are hurting.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:54 AM on Oct. 26, 2016

  • thank you Bmat. Part of that is what hurts so much. I would love to continue to know this person even as a friend but since he dumped me so callously I cannot extend that olive branch, at least not now. I wish he had just let me know that it wasn't working for him. I miss him dearly.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:18 AM on Oct. 27, 2016

  • It was only 5weeks.
    Why do women like men who don't have jobs or potential?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 29, 2016

  • Sorry you are going through this sadness but don't you think you were too available for him and money was no problem?
    I'm just saying some men can be a very good actor to get what they want for their selfish needs.

    Be strong you will meet someone who will love and treat you for real...be patient.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Nov. 1, 2016

  • 5 weeks? It was barely a relationship at that point.
    Next time, take things slow and get to know a guy before you start planning a future with him.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:51 AM on Nov. 2, 2016

  • It was stupid but I chose to believe his words. I think being in a long distance relationship also sped things up because be talked so much. If we were still local I doubt we would have spoken for upteeen hours a day every day. Lesson learned, again, the hard way (as usual).
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:48 AM on Nov. 3, 2016

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.